Price Jokes / Recent Jokes

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com, did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. She said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)." Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without more...

The Tearful Bride... A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him." "Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding." "No, mother," you don't understand. "I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!" "Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate!" says her mom. "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars." "No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey, it was the airplane ticket." "Airplane ticket.... What did you need an airplane ticket for?" "Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said -' Prepare from a frozen state,' so I flew to Alaska!"

A man went into a store and began looking around. He saw a washer and dryer, but there was no price listed on them. He asked the sales person "How much are the washer and dryer?"

"Five dollars for both of them," the salesman said.
"Yeah right, you've got to be kidding me!" the man replied sarcastically.
"No, that's the price," the salesman said, "Do you want to buy them or not?"
"Yeah, I'll take them!" the customer responded.

He continued to look around and saw a car stereo system with a detachable face cassette player, a CD changer, amplifier, speakers, and subwoofers. "How much?" he asked.

"Five dollars for the system," the salesman answered.
"Is it stolen?" the guy asks.
"No," said the salesman, "It's brand new, do you want it or not?"
"Sure," the customer replied. He looked around some more...

One Indian came to Madras and wanted to do shopping in Burma bazaar. His friend told the Indian that the prices will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the price.
Indian went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor told Rs. 2000. Indian asked for Rs. 1000. The vendor told he can give for Rs. 1800 for which Indian told no, only Rs. 900. Vendor told, "Ok, I will give it for Rs. 1500." Indian bargained for Rs. 750. It went on like this when finally the vendor out of irritation said he will give the stereo free.
Indian bargained, "I want two."

One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth. "Eighty dollars," the dentist says. "That's a ridiculous amount," the man says. "Isn't there a cheaper way?" "Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an aesthetic, I can knock the price down to $60." Looking annoyed the man says, "That's still too expensive!" "Okay," says the dentist. "If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to $20." "Nope," moans the man, "it's still too much." "Well," says the dentist, scratching his head, "if I let one of my students do it, I suppose I can

One afternoon a blonde walked into a small store. The store was having a special on CD players. She walked up to a CD player, then picked it up, and proceeded to the front counter, where she asked two employees what the price was.
The two men looked at each other, and one of them said to the other in an audible whisper, "Don't worry, she's a stupid and dumb blonde. Let's raise the price!" The blonde COULD hear this, but said nothing. The other man nodded to his fellow employee, and said, "Okay, ma'am, the price is $75.00."
Amazingly, the blonde agreed, and paid the money, then got her CD player.
***
A couple hours later, the blonde comes in again. The same two men are there. Thinking that she had gotten a good deal on the CD player, she wanted to know if she could get any more good deals.
She was just about to ask the two men if there were any other specials when she started blinking her eyes as if she had been offended. One of the employees more...

A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears.
She sobs, “Robert doesn’t appreciate what I do for him. ”
“Now, now, ” her mother comforted, “I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding. ”
“No, mother, ” you don’t understand.
“I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price! ”
“Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate! ” says her mom.
“Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars. ”
“No, mother it wasn’t the price of the turkey, it was the airplane ticket. ”
“Airplane ticket…. What did you need an airplane ticket for? ”
“Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said -
‘Prepare from a frozen state, ’ so I flew to Alaska! ”