Primary Jokes

CAT v.6.1b: Completely Autonomous Tester, Manufactured by MOMCAT
User Installation and Maintenance Documentation:
Features:
User Friendly
Low Power CPU
Self Portable Operation
Dual Video and Audio Input
Audio Output
Auto Search Capability for Input Data
Auto Search for Output Bin
Auto Learn Program in ROM
Instant Transition To Energy Saving Standby Mode When Not In Use
Wide Operating Temperature Range
Mouse Driven
Self Cleaning
Production Details:
After basic KIT construction, the unit undergoes six weeks of
onsite ROM programming and burn-in testing. Listed features are
installed during this period. Since MOMCAT uses local suppliers,
there may be a variation between individual units. Some of the
units may not meet general standards. MOMCAT's quality assurance
may reject inferior units. Users may sometimes salvage rejected
units. Beware of Far East clones. These may violate more...

Editor's Note: It's dry parody. You gotta really like sci-fi to enjoy this one...

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Experiment 8 Postflight Summary
NASA publication 14-307-1792
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ABSTRACT

The purpose of this experiment was to prepare for the expected participation in long-term space based research by husband-wife teams once the US space station is in place. To this end, the investigators explored a number of possible approaches to continued marital relations in the zero-G orbital environment provided by the XXXXXX shuttle mission.

Our primary conclusion is that satisfactory marital relations are within the realm of possibility in zero-G, but that many couples would have difficulty getting used to the approaches we found to be most satisfactory.

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INTRODUCTION

The more...

What did the primary rainbow say to the secondary rainbow? -Your pants are on backwards

Subject: -What software version are you running?

I`m currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I`ve been having some problems lately.

I`ve been running the same version of Drinking Buddies 1. 0 forever as my primary application, and all the GirlFriend releases I`ve tried have always conflicted with it.

I hear that Drinking Buddies won`t crash if GirlFriend is run in background mode and the sound is turned off.

But I`m embarrassed to say I can`t find the switch to turn the sound off.

I just run them separately, and it works okay.

Girlfriend also seems to have a problem co-existing with my Golf program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing incompatibility.

I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1. 0, but I thought I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2. 0.

After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with more...

Girlfriend Tech Support E-mail I am currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've beenhaving some problems lately. I've been running the same version ofDrinkingBuddies 1. 0 forever as my primary application, and all theGirlFriend releases I've tried have always conflicted with it. I hearthat DrinkingBuddies won't crash if GirlFriend is run in background modeand the sound is turned off. But I'm embarrassed to say I can't findthe switch to turn the sound off. I just run them separately, and itworks okay. Girlfriend also seems to have a problem co-existing with my Fishing 97program, often trying to abort Fishing 97 with some sort of timingincompatibility. I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1. 0, butI thought I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2. 0. Aftermonths of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has hadexperience with GirlFriend 2. 0. He said I probably didn't have enoughcache to run GirlFriend 2. 0, and eventually it would more...