Princess Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day, while walking home from school, young Billy heard a frog call out to him, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

Billy picked up the frog, looked at it, smiled, and put it in his pocket.

The frog called out again, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess and I'll stay with you for a whole week."

Billy pulled the frog from his pocket, looked at it, smiled, and put it back in his pocket.

The frog called out once again, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess, I'll stay with you for a whole week, and you can do ANYTHING you want with me."

Billy pulled the frog from his pocket, looked at it, smiled, and put it back in his pocket.

The frog called out once more, "What more could you want? A beautiful princess who will stay with you for a whole week while you do ANYTHING you want?"

Billy pulled the frog from his pocket, looked more...

A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The boy said, "Look, I'm an economist. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I`m really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I`ll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket.

A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I`ll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket.

A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I`ll give you great sex for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on.

Finally, the frog says, "What`s wrong with you? I`ve promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won`t even kiss a frog?"

"I`m a programmer," he replies. "I don`t have time for sex.... But a talking frog is pretty neat."

Question: What do Princess DIana and a tampon have in common?
Answer: They both go in a dark tunnel and came out bloody!

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princesses lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am, and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."
That night, the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and shallot cream sauce.

A programmer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The programmer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want." Again the programmer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The programmer said, "Look, I'm a programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend - but a talking frog, now that's cool."

I once was on a plane where I was served by an obviously homosexual male flight attendant. At one point, he bounced over to where I was sitting and announced "The Captain has asked me to announce that he will be landing the big scary plane shortly, so if you could just put up your trays, that would be great."

I did as he had instructed but the woman sitting next to me did not. A few moments later, our flight attendant came back and said to her, "Ma'am, perhaps you couldn't hear me over the big scary engine, but I asked you to please put up your tray so that the captain can land the plane." She still wouldn't comply.

Now the attendent was getting rather angry and asked her again to put up the tray. She then calmly turned to him and said, "In my country, I am called a princess. I take orders from no one."

Our flight attendant replied: "Oh yeah? Well in MY country, I'm called a queen and I outrank you, Bitch! So put the more...