Princess Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the princess. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what, metal, wood, plastic-anything she touched would melt!

Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter? He consulted his wizards and magicians.

One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured,"

The king was overjoyed. The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth.

Three young princes took up the challenge. The first prince brought a very hard alloy of titanium. But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted. The prince went away sadly.

The second prince brought a huge diamond, thinking that diamond is the more...

There was this Sheik in the desert who was a very cruel man, but had a sporting nature. Once when he had condemned a prisoner to die, he changed his mind and gave the man a chance to go free.
He explained to the prisoner that he must conquer three challenges to be given his freedom.
He said they are contained in these three tents you see before you. You must drink all the Arabian wine you find in the first tent. In the second tent you must remove an absessed tooth from a saber tooth tiger with your bare hands.
If you survive that, you must then satisfy the romantic wishes of a beautiful princess in the third tent. Should you complete these tasks, you shall go free with my blessing and the princess as your bride.
The prisoner was eager to start and entered the first tent and soon singing and breaking bottles and jars were heard.
After some time, the prisoner stumbled from the first tent into the second and the singing became yelling and snarling. The tent was more...

Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter. But there was a problem. Everything the princeess touched would melt. No matter what; metal, wood, plastic,. .. anything she touched would melt. Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
The King despaired. What could he do to help his daughter? . He consuletes his wizards and magicians. One wizards told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that doesn't melt in her, she will be cured". The king was overjoyed. The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth. Three young princes took up the challenge. The first prince brought a very hard alloy of titanium. But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted. The prince went away sadly. The second prince brought a huge diamond, thingking that diamond is the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, more...

My 75 year old Dad was taking his daily walk through the park when he heard a tiny voice calling to him. "Hey, mister! Pssst, mister!" Dad looked all around, and spotted a little frog sitting in the grass looking up at him."Hey mister," said the frog. "A wicked witch cast a spell on me, and turned me into an ugly frog. If you'll just kiss me I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and be forever grateful."Dad reached down, picked up the frog, put it in his pocket, and proceeded to walk on. The frog called out to him again, "Hey! Didn't you hear me? I said if you'll kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess and be forever grateful."Dad replied, "I heard you, but at my age, I'd rather just have a talking frog!"

The Top 15 Surprises in the Re-Mastered "Star Wars"
15 New scene in which Chewbacca teaches Han Solo how to lick himself.
14 He might not sound as fearsome as before, but that Primatene Mist of Darth Vader's seems to have helped his breathing immensely.
13 Added scene in which Tonya Harding whacks Princess Lea on the knee with a light saber.
12 Luke accused of killing ex-wife and advised by Obi Wan to "Use the Fifth, Luke."
11 The commercial tie-in appearance of Jabba's big brother, Pizza the Hut.
10 Newly-colorized Darth Vader is mauve.
9 C3PO has a conspicuous "Intel Inside" sticker on his shiny brass ass.
8 Han, Luke, Obi-Wan and C3PO now sporting bitchin' goatees.
7 New scene where Luke shakes JFK's hand and tells him he has to pee.
6 Jabba the Butt-head saying, "Hehe...hehe...she said, 'Lay ya.'"
5 Revealing scene in the bathroom shows how "Han Solo" got his name.
4 During one lonely more...

The Top 15 Surprises in the Re-Mastered "Star Wars"15 New scene in which Chewbacca teaches Han Solo how to lick himself.14 He might not sound as fearsome as before, but that Primatene Mist of Darth Vader's seems to have helped his breathing immensely.13 Added scene in which Tonya Harding whacks Princess Lea on the knee with a light saber.12 Luke accused of killing ex-wife and advised by Obi Wan to "Use the Fifth, Luke."11 The commercial tie-in appearance of Jabba's big brother, Pizza the Hut.10 Newly-colorized Darth Vader is mauve.9 C3PO has a conspicuous "Intel Inside" sticker on his shiny brass ass.8 Han, Luke, Obi-Wan and C3PO now sporting bitchin' goatees.7 New scene where Luke shakes JFK's hand and tells him he has to pee.6 Jabba the Butt-head saying, "Hehe...hehe...she said, 'Lay ya.'"5 Revealing scene in the bathroom shows how "Han Solo" got his name.4 During one lonely night, Princess Lea finds R2D2's special attachment.3 more...

Reports have surfaced that American intelligence agencies were bugging Princess Diana's telephone over her relationship with a U.S. billionaire.
A spokesperson for the CIA defended the practice and indicated that the agency still has over 400 hours of Anna Nicole Smith tapes waiting to be translated into English.