Prints Jokes / Recent Jokes
The following is supposedly a true story relating to a United States shipping company.THE U.S. shipping company had a new ship built. It was to be the pride of the fleet, and something special was wanted to decorate the captain's saloon, a large living room/office where the vessel's business and entertaining would take place.Someone suggested that a set of nautical prints would lend a nice touch. He knew of a shop in London that specialized in such things, and the prints were ordered and hung in the saloon.It was not until the trial run of the vessel, when both the builder's and the owner's representatives were aboard, that someone looked closely at the prints. Each was of an American ship being captured by, or surrendering to, a British warship during the War of 1812.
Trent Reznor Virus: your computer has serious problems
Busta Rhymes Virus: your computer only prints gibberish. FLIPMODE!
Courtney Love Virus: your computer system get redesigned several times
Britney Spears Virus: your computer only pretends to print your work
Backstreet Boys Virus: only pre-teen girls will use your computer
Orgy Virus: your computer downloads porno by itself
Blink 182 Virus: your computer only prints nudie-pictures
Jennifer Lopez Virus: your computer looks nice but doesn't work very well
Will Smith Virus: your computer gets jiggy with it
Kid Rock Virus: yo' computa pretends to be black
KoRn Virus: evry wird u tipe iz mizzpeld
Fiona Apple Virus: every other fuckin' word you fuckin' type comes out as a fuckin' curse
Silverchair Virus: your computer works really well, but for some reason no one buys it
Weird Al Yankovic Virus: more...
Two hunters on safari in Africa decide to take a lion. When they find some lion prints, they are amazed at the size of the prints; pug marks larger than two of their fists, and deep gashes in a tree made by the claws. One of the hunters gets scared. He whispers to his partner, "You follow this prints forward and find out where the lion is going. I'll follow these prints backward and find out where the lion came from."
Christian middle school for girls was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.
That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called several of the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day.
To demonstrate how much work they were making for the custodian, she asked him to clean one of the mirrors while the girls watched.
The custodian took a long-handled brush, dipped it into the nearest toilet, and proceeded to scrub the mirror.
From that day on, the problem of lip prints on the mirrors was completely eliminated.
According to a news report, a certain private school recently was faced with a unique problem.
A number of middle school girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.
She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the maintenance man who had to clean the mirrors every night.
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there more...
According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the more...
The following is supposedly a true story relating to a United States shipping company.
THE U. S. shipping company had a new ship built. It was to be the pride of the fleet, and something special was wanted to decorate the captain's saloon, a large living room/office where the vessel's business and entertaining would take place.
Someone suggested that a set of nautical prints would lend a nice touch. He knew of a shop in London that specialized in such things, and the prints were ordered and hung in the saloon.
It was not until the trial run of the vessel, when both the builder's and the owner's representatives were aboard, that someone looked closely at the prints. Each was of an American ship being captured by, or surrendering to, a British warship during the War of 1812.