Prior Jokes / Recent Jokes
...probably one of the best...
Paleoanthropology Division
Smithsonian Institute
207 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20078
Dear Sir:
Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled
"211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid
skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed
examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your
theory that it represents "conclusive proof of the presence of
Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago." Rather, it
appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of
the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to
be the "Malibu Barbie." It is evident that you have given a great
deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be
quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior
work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with more...
One day Nasrudin was walking along a deserted road. Night was
falling as he spied a troop of horsemen coming toward him. His
imagination began to work, and he feared that they might rob him,
or impress him into the army. So strong did this fear become that
he leaped over a wall and found himself in a graveyard. The other
travelers, innocent of any such motive as had been assumed by
Nasrudin, became curious and pursued him.
When they came upon him lying motionaless, one said, "Can we help
you? And, why are you here in this position?"
Nasrudin, realizing his mistake said, "It is more complicated
than you assume. You see, I am here because of you; and you, you
are here because of me."
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EVEN THE INNOCENCE HAVE GUILT
One day he disagreed with the prior of a monastery at which he
was staying. Shortly afterward, a bag of rice was missing. more...
Due to budget constraints, the following corporate policies are announced regarding employees traveling on company business.
TRANSPORTATION
Hitch-hiking in lieu of commercial transportation is strictly encouraged. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all employees prior to their departure on company business trips. Should hitch-hiking prove fruitless, bus travel may be utilized if absolutely necessary. Airline tickets will be authorized for purchase only under extreme circumstances, and the lowest fares will be used. If, for example, a meeting is scheduled in Sacramento but a lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Denver, then travel to Denver will be substituted for travel to Sacramento.
Car rental fees are going up all the time, and are to be avoided. As a substitute for these charges, we recommend car-sharing. Simply turn your issued safety vest inside out, and you will notice that it now says "VALET PARKING ATTENDANT" over the left breast pocket. more...
Cincinnati Bengals rookie wide receiver, Reggie McNeal, was arrested in Houston over the weekend and charged with resisting arrest.
McNeal is the seventh Cincinnati football player to have been arrested in the past year, setting a new single season mark for the Bengals and helping them clinch a playoff spot on the FBI's Most Wanted List.
Prior to next week's game, Vegas oddsmakers have made the Bengals an early two-touchdown favorite over the guards.
Meanwhile, Bengals coaches declined to comment on the budding quarterback controversy between Adam Sandler and Burt Reynolds.
Photo: Bengal veterans use Gatorade as a lubricant prior to McNeal's rookie prison "initiation." Prison welcoming ritual reportedly the inspiration behind Gatorade's ad slogan, "Is it in you?"