Privates Jokes / Recent Jokes

Grandpa is running around in the nursing home with his privates hanging out of his pants screaming: "My penis just died, my penis just died!"The nurses calm him down, and he goes back to his room. The next day, grandpa is running around again with his privates hanging out, so the nurse asks him: "I thought you said yesterday that your penis died. What happened?"Grandpa replies: "Yes, it did... but today is the viewing!"

Bubba and Earl got promoted from Privates to Sergeants. Shortly after, they were out walking when Bubba said, "Hey, Earl, there's the NCO Club. Let's go in and have us a drank."
"But we's privates," protested Earl. Pointing out their stripes, Bubba replied, "No we ain't Earl, we's Sergeants now!"
They went in and ordered their drinks. A few minutes later, a hooker walked up to Bubba and said, "You're real cute. I'd love to take you somewhere and make you feel real good, but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea."
Bubba pulled Earl closer and whispered, "Quick, go look in the dictionary and see what that gon-o-rea means. If it's good, give me the okay sign."
Earl came back and gave Bubba the okay sign. A couple of weeks later, Bubba was in the infirmary with a case of gonorrhea. "Earl," he said, "why'd you gimme the okay fer?"
"Bubba, in the dictionary it says gonorrhea only affects the privates. more...

A group of soldiers began digging foxholes for pending war games. Two privates working side by side dug their holes to standard depth.
A third man, a corporal, dug his foxhole so deep that only his shovel tip was visible as he ejected the dirt. Curiosity got the best of the two privates. When their sergeant passed by, one spoke up. "Um, sergeant, sir, can you tell us what's with the corporal? He seems to have gotten carried away."
"Oh, he'll be okay in a few minutes," the sergeant said. "He suffers from corporal tunnel syndrome."

Tom and Brad have been promoted from privates to sergeants.
Not long after, they're out for a walk and Tom says, "Hey, Brad, there's the Officer's Club. Let's you and me stop in."
"But we're privates," protests Brad. "We're sergeants now," says Tom, pulling him inside. "Now, Brad, I'm gonna sit down and have me a drink." So they have their drink, and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Tom.
"Your cute," she says, "and I'd like to screw you, but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea."
Tom pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Brad, go look in the dictionary and see what 'gonorrhea' means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign."
So Brad goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Tom the big okay sign.
Three weeks later Tom is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhea.
"Brad," he says, "Why'd you give me the okay?"
"Well, Tom, in the dictionary, it more...

One day John decides to invite Mark on a trip on his private jet. Whilst on this luxury aeroplane Mark asks where the toilet is. John shows him and says to him "inside there are 3 buttons, whatever you do don't press the third one." Mark proceeds to the toilet and does his business. Whilst sitting on the toilet he presses the first button. Suddenly his privates are cleaned thoroughly. He enjoys this and presses the second button. Dryers appear and dry his privates. He is intrigued to find out what button 3 does, so he pushes it. The next thing Mark sees is John staring at him... "what happened?" Mark asks shakily. "Well you pressed the third button and now you are in hospital." "Why do my privates hurt so bad?" Mark asked anxiously..John replies "Well you activated the automatic tampon remover."

One day John decides to invite Mark on a trip on his private jet. Whilst on this luxury areoplane Mark asks where the toilet is. John shows him and says to him 'inside there are 3 buttons, whatever you do dont press the third one.' Mark proceeds to the toilet and does his business. Whilst sat on the toilet he presses the first button. Suddenly his privates are Cleaned thoroughly. He enjoys this and presses the scond button. Then dryers appear and dry his privates. He is intrigued to fin out what button 3 does. The next thing mark sees is John staring at him... 'what happened?' mark asks shakily. Well you pressed the third button and now you are in hospital. ''Why do my privates hurt'' mark asked anxiously..John replies ''Well you activated the automatic tampon remover.''

Two good ol’ boys, Bubba and Junior get promoted from Privates to Sergeants.

Not long after, they’re out for a walk and Bubba says, “Hey, Junior - there’s the NCO Club. Let’s you and me stop in and have us a drank. ”

“But we’s privates, ” protests Junior.

“NO, we’s sergeants now, ” says Bubba, pulling him inside

“Now, Junior, I’m gonna sit down and have me a drank. ”

“But, we’s privates, ” says Junior.

“You blind, boy! ” says Bubba, pointing at his stripes. “We’s Sergeants now! ”

So they order their drinks and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Bubba.

“You’re cute, ” she says, “and I’d like to take you someplace and make you feel good - but I’ve got a bad case of gonorrhea. ”

Bubba pulls his friend to the side and whispers, “Junior, go look in the dictionary and see what that gonorrhea means. If it’s good, give me the okay more...