Producer Jokes / Recent Jokes
Producer: Would you call your leading lady ugly? Director: Let's just say she'd look better on radio than on TV.
A movie producer is lying by the pool at the Beverly Hilton. His partner arrives in a great state of excitement. "How'd the meeting go?" asks the first guy.
"It went great," says his buddy. "Tarentino will write and direct for six million, Mel Gibson will star for eight, and we can bring in the whole picture for under fifty million."
"Fabulous," says the guy by the pool.
"There's just one catch," his partner warns.
"What's the catch?"
"We have to put up ten thousand in cash".
The Charade
The world's greatest charade player brags that he can guess any charade. A TV producer decides to use the charade player in a TV special. He issues a challenge offering the charade player a million dollars to guess a very hard charade on television. The Charade player agrees.
Comes the big night, all the world is watching. The charade player is sitting on stage in front of a curtain. Music blares and the curtain opens to reveal seven nude young women.
The second and fourth ladies are holding their breasts, while the other five have their backs to him and are baring their behinds.
The charade player barely glances over them and says,' 'The William Tell Overture by Rossini.''
The flabbergasted producer says in awe,' 'You've done it!. That's the right answer. You are indeed the greatest charade player!'' and hands him a check for a million bucks.
Walking out, a reporter stops the charade player and ask him how more...
A movie producer is lying by the pool at the Beverly Hilton. His partner arrives in a great state of excitement. "Howd the meeting go?" asks the first guy."It went great," says his buddy. "Tarentino will write and direct for six million, Mel Gibson will star for eight, and we can bring in the whole picture for under fifty million.""Fabulous," says the guy by the pool."Theres just one catch," his partner warns."Whats the catch?""We have to put up ten thousand in cash".
The producer of a low budget film is trying to convince the newly hired director of the quality of the work by telling him the big names they've gotten for the cast.
"First of all," he tells him, "We've got Gibson in the lead."
The director is surprised, "You got Mel Gibson?"
"Well, no," the Producer responds, "we got Marvin Gibson, he's a distant cousin who lives in Queens, but he's very up and coming. And besides, we've also got Redford."
"You got Robert Redford?" the director asks.
"No, we got Jeremy Redford, but he's very talented and has lots of acting experience from years of dinner theater. But," he says enthusiastically, " we've got Streisand and in a singing role."
"Barbara Streisand?" he asks.
"No, Elizabeth Streisand." The Producer responds. "But she's got a great voice. AND we've got more...
A top movie producer was discussing his new project, an
action docudrama about famous composers, with several
top stars --- Stallone, Schwarzenneger and Van Damme.
The three action stars were allowed to select what famous
composers they would portray.
"Well", started Stallone, "I have always admired Mozart. I
would love to play him."
"Chopin has always been my favourite", said Van Damme.
"I'll play him."
The producer was pleased. "Sounds splendid! And who
do you want to portray, Arnold?"
"I'll be Bach," he replied......
A movie producer is lying by the pool at the Beverly Hilton. His partner arrives in a great state of excitement. "How'd the meeting go?" asks the first guy. "It went great," says his buddy. "Tarentino will write and direct for six million, Mel Gibson will star for eight, and we can bring in the whole picture for under fifty million." "Fabulous," says the guy by the pool. "There's just one catch," his partner warns. "What's the catch?" "We have to put up ten thousand in cash".