Product Jokes / Recent Jokes
Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.
Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis. Product once sold will not be taken back!
Arranged Marriage is like Unix..boring n colorless... still extremely reliable n robust.
Love Marriage is like Windows, beautiful n seductive... yet one never knows when it will crash...
A market researcher called at a house and his knockwas answered by a young woman with three smallchildren running around her. He asked her if she mindedreplying to his questions and she agreed. He asked her if she knew his company, Cheeseborough-Ponds. When she said no, he mentioned that among their many products wasVaseline and she certainly knew of that product. When asked ifshe used it, the answer was "Yes." Asked how she used it, she said, "To assist sexual intercourse." The interviewerwas amazed. He said, "I always ask that question becauseeveryone uses our product and they always say they useit for the childs bicycle chain, or the gate hinge; butI know that most use it for sexual intercourse. Since youvebeen so frank, could you tell me exactly how you useit?""Yes, we put it on the doorknob to keep the kids out."
JIFFY CONDOM COMPANY
6969 Slippery Root Drive
Droptrouser, NC 22269
Dear Sir,
We regret to inform you that we have rejected your recent application
to model and represent our product, Jiffy Condoms.
Although your general physical appearance is not displeasing, our
Board of Directors feels that your wearing of our product does not portray
a positive, romantic image for our product. A loose baggy wrinkled condom is
not considered romantic.
We did admire your efforts to firm it up using Poly-Grip, but even
then it slipped off before we could get the photographs taken. We would like
to note however, that we have never seen a penis that looked like a bicycle
grip until now.
We appreciate your interest and thank you for your time. We will
retain your application for future consideration, if by the chance we decide
that there is a market for Micro-Mini Condoms.
We send greetings and our deepest sympathy to your wife more...
1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. Repeat three times steps 3 and 4.
6. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
7. Users find 137 new bugs.
8. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
9. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
10. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
11. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
12. New CEO is brought in by more...
1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found. 3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.5. Repeat three times steps 3 and 4.6. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.7. Users find 137 new bugs.8. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.9. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.10. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.11. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.12. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires a programmer to redo more...
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs are roaming in the forest when they come across a lake. The water was enticing and Snow White decides to take a bath. So she tells the Dwarfs to turn around while she is taking a bath in the lake. The Dwarfs protest vehemently because they want to take a bath too. Snow White relents and says "When I get into the water and you hear the splash, you can turn around." Snow White undresses and as she is about to jump into water, at that very moment, she is startled by a frog who jumps into water before she can. The moment the Dwarfs hear the SPLASH, they turn around and see Snow White standing NAKED. Now, given that this incident is an idea for a TV ad, what product is being advertised? Scroll down for the answer.?????????????????? Come on now, this should be easy for a person of your mental powers!????????????????????? The product being advertised is...??????????????????? SEVEN UP!
When a researcher called at a house, his knock was answered by a young woman with four small children running around her. He introduced himself as a representative of Cheeseborough Ponds and asked her if she would mind answering some questions.
When she replied that she didn't mind answering his questions, but had no idea who Cheeseborough Ponds was, he mentioned that among their many products was Vaseline. He then asked if she used Vaseline, and her reply was "Yes".
"How do you use the product?" he asked.
"We use it to assist during sexual intercourse," she replied.
Surprised by her answer, he said, "I always ask that question because everyone seems to use our product. Mind you, they always say they use it for the child's bicycle chain, the hinge on the gate, and things like that, but I know that the majority of them use it for sex. Since you've been so frank, could you tell me exactly how you use it?"
"Of course," more...