Proposal Jokes / Recent Jokes

Thought I'd pass along a grant proposal for important research. The following letter was received by the head meteorologist at the Miami, FL weather service office.
Dear Sir:
Last night, my 7 year-old son saw the movie Twister. He has abandoned his dreams of being a train engineer and wants to be a meteorologist. Needless to say he was determined to make an even better tornado studying machine. He wanted to empty his bank account to get a tornado sniffing dog.
I told him that the U.S. Government funded scientific research, and suggested he write for a grant. I thought you may enjoy his efforts, and I know that we would appreciate some kind of reply to his Grant Request.
Thank you for your time.
Dear Sirs:
I want to make an experiment to study tornadoes from the inside. I need a lot of money, so I am asking you for a Grant.
I will need these things:
1 helicopter
5 gallons of gas for the helicopter
5 pilots for the helicopter
1 stewardess to more...

Thirty years ago, when the Air Force needed a large cargo plane, it
put out a list of specifications that took up less than 8 pages.
Lockheed responded with a proposal 3/4" thick, which resulted in
a huge plane named the Hercules. In 1980, when the Air Force needed
a new cargo plane, it issued specifications that took up 2,750 pages.
Lockheed's proposal alone weighed 6,600 pounds. To deliver it, the
company used one of the old Hercules cargo planes.
- John Tierney, in Science 85

I had been going out with my girlfriend for 4 years when i thought it was about time i 'popped the question'.
After a sweet and romantic meal, i got down on 1 knee and said:

" Honey, will you make me the happiest guy in the world "

" YES" came the response, with a big smile on her face and a tear in her eye.

" Good . . . so when can i shag your sister?" I replied