Prostitute Jokes / Recent Jokes
A guy is hanging out in his favorite bar when he spots a
fabulous babe walking in on the arm of some ugly dude. He asks
the bartender about her and is surprised to discover that she's
a prostitute. He watches her the rest of the night, amazed that
someone so attractive could be available to him. The next night
he goes back to the bar, and sure enough she shows up again,
only this time alone. The guy gets up his nerve and approaches
her.
"Is it true you're a prostitute?"
"Why, sure, big boy. What can I do for you?"
"Well, I dunno. What do you charge?"
"I get $100 just for a hand job. We can negotiate from there..."
"$100!?! For a handjob? Are you nuts?"
"You see that Ferrari out there?" The guy looks out the front
door, and sure enough there's a shiny new Ferrari parked
outside. "I paid cash for that Ferrari with the money I made on
hand jobs. Trust me, it's more...
A dying farmer is having trouble deciding which of his three sons to give his farm to. After calling them all in he says:
"I will give you each a duck and which ever one of you can get the most for it can have the farm."
After the brief meeting with their father all of the sons go out to sell the duck. The first son runs int a drunk that says he will give the son $100 for the duck. The second son find a kid who will give him $200 of his parents' money for the duck. The third son goes to a whore house and askes a prostitute if she will have sex with him for the duck and she agrees. After they have is the prostitute says:
"That was good let's do it again, I'll, um, give you this duck for it!"
An hour later the third son is walking with the duck and it goes into the middle of the road and gets hit by an eighteen-wheeler. The driver gets out and hands him a wad of cash for the duck. The next day the farmer more...
What is the difference between a prostitute and a lawyer?
A: The prostitute will STOP fucking you when you are dead
A man stops off at a bar after work to have a couple of drinks. He starts talking to this woman, and even though the guy is married, he thinks she is so fine that he agrees to go back to her place.
When he gets to her place, he finds out that she is a prostitute and that she wants $75.
"Forget it," the man says, "you never told me you were a prostitute." "But I do have $10 on me, will you take that?"
"You won't get any decent prostitute for that," the hooker says. She throws the guy out.
Later that night, the man and his wife go out to dinner. While they are eating, the same prostitute who happens to also be eating there recognizes the guy.
She comes up to him and says, "See, I told you." "Look at the kind of trash you'll pick up for $10."
A policeman arrested a prostitute, and the following conversation occurred.
Girl: I'm not selling sex!
Officer: Then what are you doing?
Girl: I'm selling condoms and offering a free demonstration!
Q. Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy?
A. He did okay until his business fell off.
Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A: The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige.. . I think I'll paint the ceiling beige.