Proverb Jokes / Recent Jokes

ancient Romanian proverb...
The church is near,
but the roads are icy.
The tavern is far,
but I will walk carefully!

A first-grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. Their insight may surprise you.
Better to be safe than. . . punch a 5th grader
It's always darkest before. . . daylight savings
You can lead a horse to water but. . . how?
Don't bite the hand that. . . looks dirty
If you lie down with dogs, you'll. . . stink in the morning
Happy the bride who. . . gets all the presents
Don't put off till tomorrow what. . . you put on to go to bed
Children should be seen and not. . . spanked or grounded
You get out of something what you. . . see pictured on the box
Better late than. . . pregnant

Old Chinese proverb: Rape impossible! Woman with skirt up run faster than man with trousers down!

When the window cleaner arrived at the Green's house, he was stopped in his tracks by a snarling, barking dog. "Don't be afraid of him," said Mrs. Green "You know the old proverb:' A barking dog never bites'." "Sure," said the window cleaner. "You know the old proverb. I know the old proverb. But does your dog know the old proverb?".

Banacek's Eighteenth Polish Proverb: The hippo has no sting, but the wise man would rather be sat upon by the bee.