Proverbs Jokes / Recent Jokes

Proverbs(?): "Golden" Words of College Students:-

1) "Most certainly common sense would check many divorces".
"Yes, it would prevent just as many marriages".

2) APOLOGY: Something said which you didn't really mean.

3) It's quite easy to be good and lazy. It takes a lot of energy and imagination to be active and naughty.

4) Worries are hereditary, parents have them from their sons and daughters.

5) Drinking a soft drink with a straw is like kissing a girl through proxy.

A Third grade teacher collected well known proverbs. He gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to come up with the rest. Here is what the kids came up with:
Love all, trust... me.
No news is... impossible.
Strike while the... bug is close.
A miss is as good as a... Mrs.
A penny saved is... not much.
Don't bite the hand that... looks dirty.
You can't teach an old dog... math.
None are so blind as... Helen Keller.
The pen is mightier than... the pigs.
An idle mind is... the best way to relax.
Where there is smoke, there's... pollution.
Better to be safe than... punch a 5th grader
Happy is the bride who... gets all the presents.
Never underestimate the power of... termites.
When the blind lead the blind... get out of the way.
If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.
If you lie down with dogs, you... will stink in the morning.
Children should be seen and not... spanked or more...

A third grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with rest. Their insight may surprise you...
Better to be safe thanPunch a 5th grader.
Strike While theBug is close.
It's always darkest beforeDaylight Savings time.
Never underestimate the power ofTermites.
You can lead a horse to water buthow?
Don't bite the hand thatlooks dirty.
No news isimpossible.
A miss is as good as a Mr.
You can't teach an old dog newmath.
If you lie down with dogs, you'llstink in the morning.
Love all, trustme.
The pen is mightier than the pigs.
An idle mind isThe best way to relax.
Where there's smoke there'sPollution.
Happy the bride whogets all the presents.
A penny saved isnot much.
Two's company, three'sthe Musketeers.
Don't put off till tomorrow whatyou put on to go to bed.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry andyou have to blow your more...

A man is driving down a country road, when his car breaks down. Noticing a house nearby, he walked up to the front door, knocks, and is greeted by an old Chinese man.
"My car has broken down and I was wondering if I would be able to spend the night?" he asks.
"Okay, but don't touch my daughter," replies the old Chinese man, "or I will unleash three of the worst Chinese proverbs on you."
A while later, the man catches sight of the daughter and can't help but notice how gorgeous she is. Ignoring the old Chinese man's warning, he invites the daughter into his room and they spend the next couple of hours making hot, passionate love.
When the man wakes up in the morning, he feels a heavy weight on his chest. Opening his eyes and looking to see what's causing this feeling, he notices a rock sitting there. On the rock is a card that reads - 1st Chinese proverb: Heavy weight on man's chest. He quickly gets up and throws the rock out the more...

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to come up with the rest. Here is what the kids came up with:
Better to be safe than... punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the... bug is close.
It's always darkest before... daylight savings time.
Never underestimate the power of... termites.
You can lead a horse to water but... how?
Don't bite the hand that... looks dirty.
No news is... impossible.
A miss is as good as a... Mr.
You can't teach an old dog... math.
If you lie down with dogs, you... will stink in the morning.
Love all, trust... me.
The pen is mightier than... the pigs.
An idle mind is... the best way to relax.
Where there is smoke, there's... pollution.
Happy is the bride who... gets all the presents.
A penny saved is... not much.
Two is company, three's... The Musketeers.
None are so blind as... Helen Keller.
Children more...

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to fill in the rest. Here's what the kids came up with:
Better to be safe than... punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the... bug is close.
It's always darkest before... daylight savings time.
Never underestimate the power of... termites.
You can lead a horse to water but... how?
Don't bite the hand that... looks dirty.
No news is... impossible.
A miss is as good as a... Mr.
You can't teach an old dog... math.
If you lie down with dogs, you... will stink in the morning.
Love all, trust... me.
The pen is mightier than... the pigs.
An idle mind is... the best way to relax.
Where there is smoke, there's... pollution.
Happy is the bride who... gets all the presents.
A penny saved is... not much.
Two is company, three's... The Musketeers.
None are so blind as... Helen Keller.
Children should more...

Proverbs as finished by a fourth grade class:
It is always darkest...Just before you flunk a test.
There is nothing new...under a rock.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with...a private jet.
A committee of three...gets things done when they are not fighting.
If you can't stand the heat...try Antarctica.
Better late than...absent.
A rolling stone...may dent the floor.
If at first you don't succeed...live with it.
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry...and then blow your nose.
A bird in the hand is....better than a woodpecker on your head.
Early to bed, early to rise...and you will get the best cereal.
Two heads...are pretty scary.
It is better to light a candle than...to light a bomb.
A miss is as good as...a mister.
A penny saved...is not a lot.
Don't burn your bridges...or you'll fall in the lake.
Haste makes...sweat