Publication Jokes / Recent Jokes

If Microsoft Ran The IRS “Government should be run like a business. ” We’ve all heard that chestnut. Here is how the Internal Revenue Service (nobody’s favorite government agency) would be like, if only it were run like Microsoft Corp. (a successful private enterprise).
- The IRS, as always, announces new tax forms will be mailed the week before the new year. However it will follow Microsoft’s example and actually ship them the following May.
- Responding to pressure from some large corporations and a users’ group, some early copies of the tax forms will actually be released in March. The recipients must sign non-disclosure agreements.
- In June, the forms will be recalled because the IRS loses a suit for appropriating some other country’s intellectual property.
- When you move, the IRS will continue to send mail to your previous address forevermore, just like Microsoft sends its product upgrade notices.
- When you upgrade from form 1040 EZ to more...

If Microsoft Ran The IRS "Government should be run like a business." We've all heard that chestnut. Here is how the Internal Revenue Service (nobody's favorite government agency) would be like, if only it were run like Microsoft Corp. (a successful private enterprise). - The IRS, as always, announces new tax forms will be mailed the week before the new year. However it will follow Microsoft's example and actually ship them the following May. - Responding to pressure from some large corporations and a users' group, some early copies of the tax forms will actually be released in March. The recipients must sign non-disclosure agreements. - In June, the forms will be recalled because the IRS loses a suit for appropriating some other country's intellectual property. - When you move, the IRS will continue to send mail to your previous address forevermore, just like Microsoft sends its product upgrade notices. - When you upgrade from form 1040 EZ to 1040 A, and then to 1040, you more...

More mistakes in publication,
-Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
-Stock up and save. Limit: one.
-Save regularly in our bank. You'll never reget it.
-We build bodies that last a lifetime. Offer expires December 31 or while supplies last.
-This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes and Gardens.
-For Sale-Diamonds $20; microscopes $15.
-For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
-Man, honest. Will take anything.
-Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.
-Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop.
-Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
-Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
-Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
-Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.
-Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth more...

If Microsoft Ran The IRS

"Government should be run like a business." We've all heard that chestnut. Here is how the Internal Revenue Service (nobody's favorite government agency) would be like, if only it were run like Microsoft Corp. (a successful private enterprise).

-- The IRS, as always, announces new tax forms will be mailed the week before the new year. However it will follow Microsoft's example and actually ship them the following May.

-- Responding to pressure from some large corporations and a users' group, some early copies of the tax forms will actually be released in March. The recipients must sign non-disclosure agreements.

-- In June, the forms will be recalled because the IRS loses a suit for appropriating some other country's intellectual property.

-- When you move, the IRS will continue to send mail to your previous address forevermore, just like Microsoft sends its product upgrade notices.

-- more...

Editor's Note: It's dry parody. You gotta really like sci-fi to enjoy this one...

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Experiment 8 Postflight Summary
NASA publication 14-307-1792
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ABSTRACT

The purpose of this experiment was to prepare for the expected participation in long-term space based research by husband-wife teams once the US space station is in place. To this end, the investigators explored a number of possible approaches to continued marital relations in the zero-G orbital environment provided by the XXXXXX shuttle mission.

Our primary conclusion is that satisfactory marital relations are within the realm of possibility in zero-G, but that many couples would have difficulty getting used to the approaches we found to be most satisfactory.

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INTRODUCTION

The more...