Pumping Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was a man at a gas station, pumping gas into his truck. While
pumping he got gas on his arm. He wiped some of it off, then forgot
about it. He paid for his gas and got in the truck.
As he was driving down the road, he lit up a cigarette, and the gas
on his arm caught on fire. He rolled down the window and was waving
his arm about, when he was pulled over by the cops.
The officer charged him for improper use of firearms.

A young teacher was trying to teach her six-year-old charges about sharing. In the midst of doing so, she said that no one had everything they wanted. At this point, a young arm was energetically pumping at the back of the class. She tried to ignore him, but little Johnny started saying, "oh miss, oh miss!" with his arm pumping." Yes, Johnny, what is it?" she asked, trying to remain calm. Little Johnny stood up and proclaimed to the class, "at our house, we have everything." "Don't be silly," the teacher replied, "not even the richest man has everything." "We do," he answered, "My daddy said so the other day." "Now, why would your father say such a thing?" she asked." Well, my fifteen year old sister came home with her skinhead boyfriend, and told poppa she was pregnant. That's when my dad said "God, that's all we needed."

1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.2. It's best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.3. You can do it with no hands, but it's best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.4. It's easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience.5. You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not as much fun.6. It's usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.7. It's best to have a soft place to land.8. You don't need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it.9. If you're with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it's usually best to slow down and wait for them.10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time.11. Once you learn, you never forget how.12. If you fall off get right back on.13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.14. Remember to signal before you change direction.15. Make sure that you've got a firm grip.16. Sometimes it's nice to more...

The kindergarten lady teacher questions all the children every morning at the start of the class to narate what they saw on their way to the school, some kids would say " Teacher today I saw monkey sitting on a tree" another child would say that he/she saw horse and another would say that he/she saw two bulls fighting ect.
The turn came to Simon whos father owns a bicycle repair shop, Simon said " Teacher, while coming to school I saw Two dogs, one was pumping air to the other dog and that dog was standing cooly", the teacher blushed but she enjoyed the joke.

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.January 16, 1993Escondido attorney Ben Echeverria filed a $2 million lawsuit in August against Texaco Inc. and a local gas station manager because station attendants were pumping gas for women at self-service prices, but not for men.The station almost immediately stopped its practice and forced women to start pumping for themselves.