Purple Jokes / Recent Jokes

A decorated war veteran, fresh off the bus, is looking for a place to stay. He hears that room and board is available from the three old spinsters at the edge of town, but is advised they are very picky in letting strangers stay there. He decides to chance it, and limps on up to the front door.His knock is answered by Gladys. "What do you want, sonny?" she asks him."Ma'am, I'm just looking for a hot meal and a room for the night," heanswers.The other two old spinsters gather around the door. "Who's out there? Does he look decent?" they ask.Gladys says, "It's a soldier, and he's got a Purple Heart on."The other two spinsters giggle and say, "The hell with what color it is...let him in!"

A kid goes to school and says to his teacher, "I just learned this new word called 'Purple spaghetti'." The teacher sends him to the principal and tells him the same thing so he sends him home!
When he gets home his mom asks him, "Why are you home so early?" So he tells her about what happened and his new word. Then his mom sends him to his room and tells him to wait until his father gets home. When his father gets home he sits down with the boy and the boy tells him about what happened, and about his new word. the father tells him to go the streets. So now the boy is living on the streets and he comes across a homeless person and tells him his story and when the boy says 'Purple spaghetti' the homeless person screams and runs across the steet and gets hit by a car.
Q: Whats the moral to the story?
A: Look both ways before crossing the street.

WORLD'S EASIEST
QUIZ!
FOR ALL OF YOU THAT WILL NEVER MAKE "WHO WANTS TO BE A
MILLIONAIRE"
OR EVEN "THE WEAKEST LINK"...HERE'S THE WORLD'S
EASIEST QUIZ! (Passing
requires 4 correct answers)
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October
Revolution?
5)
What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific
are named after what
animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
All done? Check your answers below!
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ANSWERS TO THE
QUIZ
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country
makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get more...

Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Billy. Billy was pretty much your average kid. But one day, he got on the school bus and heard a bunch of kids talking about the Purple Wombat. He asked them what the Purple Wombat was, they got angry at him and sat somewhere else, so Billy had to sit all alone. Later, at school, the teacher began to talk about the Purple Wombat. When Billy asked her about the Purple Wombat, she was extremely angry and sent him to the principal's office. Billy went to the principal's office. The principal invited him in, and asked him why he was there. Billy said "My teacher sent me here because I don't know what the Purple Wombat is."
"Young man, go home right know! You are suspended for three days!"
So Bill went home, and his mother asked him "Why are you home so early?"
"I got suspended for three days for not knowing what the Purple Wombat is."
"You don't know what the Purple Wombat is? You more...

There was a little boy by the name of Billy. Billy was an ordinary little boy who did ordinary little boy things, like playing, eating, bathing, destroying things, and going to school. One day, when Billy went down to the bus stop to meet the bus to go to school, he found all of his friends huddled around in a little group, talking about the Purple Wombat.
Being a little boy, Billy was curious. So he asked them, "What's the Purple Wombat?"
"You don't know what the Purple Wombat is?" the children exclaimed disgustedly. For the rest of the morning, they would not go near Billy, always standing far away and staring at him. Then the bus came. Billy, confused, got on the bus along with the rest of the children.
"Hey, Mister Bus Driver!" one of the chldren shouted. "Billy doesn't know what the Purple Wombat is!"
The bus driver turned around abruptly. "You don't know what the Purple Wombat is?" he said in disbelief. He ordered more...

On Halloween night a kid is standing on a bench with a fake beard, fake fangs, a tennis racket, a baseball cap, and a purple cape.
A snobby man walks by and says, "What are you supposed to be?"
The kid says, "Duh! I'm a kid standing on a bench wearing fake fangs, a fake beard, a baseball cap, a purple cape and holding a tennis racket! What did you think I was?"