Pussy Jokes / Recent Jokes

In a nursing home, there is this old woman named Gladys who likes to walk around and flash people. She walks up to a nun, opens her robe and yells "Super Pussy!" The nun says, "Gladys, you know youre not supposed to do that. Now go back to your room. Gladys starts walking back and sees the minister. She walks up to him, opens her robe and yells "Super Pussy!" The minister is shocked and tells her to go back to her room. As she continues, she sees an old man lying on the bed. She walks in, flashes him, and yells "Super Pussy!" The man slowly turns his head and says, "Thanks, I think Ill have the soup."

Q. Why is a woman's pussy like a warm toilet seat?
A. They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you.

There was this couple in bed one night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book.

As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling her pussy.

He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book. The wife got up and started stripping off in front of him.

The husband was confused and asked,' 'What are doing taking all your jammies off?''

The wife replied,' 'You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was foreplay for something a bit heavier''.

The husband said,' 'No, not at all.''

The wife then asked,'' Well, what were you doing then?''

' 'I couldn't turn the pages of my book.''

There was this businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn't much like the idea of her screwing someone else. (For joke purposes, let's ignore what he might do while on his trip: -) ) So he went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him.
He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his situation. The old man said, "Well, I don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except -- " and he stopped.
"Except what?" the man asked.
"Nothing, more...

Whats the difference between eating sushi and eating pussy?
The rice.

Q: What has four legs, 16 balls, and smells like pussy?
A: The White House pool table.

Woman: Doctor, my husband tells me my pussy's too big. So I'd like you to tell me if you find it unusual.
Doctor: Please, take off your clothes and I'll have you examined.
Doctor (shouting): What a giant pussy! What a giant pussy!!
Woman (angry): Did you have to say it twice?!?
Doctor: I didn't! I didn't!