Quarterback Jokes / Recent Jokes
The pro quarterback was petitioning the court to have his recent marriage annulled. "On what grounds? " questioned the Judge, "This court does not take annulments lightly." "Non-virginity," replied the quarterback, "When I married her, I thought I was getting a tight end, but instead, I found that I had married a wide receiver."
Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect Lions team for' 99. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn't find a ringer quarterback that would ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night, watching CNN, he saw a war zone scene in Bosnia. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window a good 200 yards away - ka-boom! He threw another hand grenade into a group of about 10 soldiers over 100 yards away - ka-blooey! Then a car passes, going around 90 miles per hour - bulls-eye! Right into it.
"I've got to get this guy", Ross said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football and the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl for the first time in history. The young Bosnian is lionized as the Great Hero of more...
The Visit of St. Nokia
Twas the day after New Year's and all through the state
All the Noles fans were crying: The Gators felt great!
The Noles were all decked out in yellows and reds,
While visions of 12 and 0 danced in their heads.
Coach Bobby, equipped with his number one ranking
Expected to give number three a good spanking.
He figured to rule from the opening snap,
But his team took an unscheduled long winter's nap.
While from the far bench came a growl and a chomp,
The sign said "New Orleans", but this was The Swamp!
And what to our most grateful eyes should appear
But the Longhorns and Buckeyes in Orange and Blue gear.
From UF's first drive to the game clock's last tick,
Twas not just the flu-stricken Noles that were sick.
Their teammates and fans who had hoped to score plenty,
Had to settle, at length, for a score of just twenty.
Meanwhile, 'cross the gridiron, the Orange and the Blue
Set a Sugar more...
Al Davis had finally put together the perfect Oakland Raiders team for '98. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, and he couldn't find a quarterback that would ensure a SuperBowl win.
Then one night, watching CNN, he saw a war zone in Bosnia. In the background, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window 200 yards away! He threw another grenade into a group of about 10 soldiers a good 110 yards away! A car passes going 80 miles (120 km) an hour, and he send another grenade right into the barely open window. "I've got to get this guy," Al says to himself, "He has the perfect arm!"
So he brings him to the States and teaches him the game of football. Predictably, the young man breaks all the NFL records for completed passes, and the Raiders go on to win the SuperBowl.
The more...
Al Davis had put together the perfect Raiders team for '
96. The only Thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, and he couldn't find a ringer quarterback that would ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war zone in Bosnia. In the background, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm. First, he threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window over 200 yards away -ka-boom! Next, he threw another hand grenade into a group of about 10 soldiers a good 110 yards away-ka-blooey!
Then, a car passes going 90 miles an hour- bulls-eye! Another grenade right into the barely open window.
"I've got to get this guy," Al says to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So he brings him to the states and teaches him the great game of football. Predictably, the young man breaks all NFL records for completed passes, more...
Al Davis had put together the perfect Raiders team for '96. The only Thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, and he couldn't find a ringer quarterback that would ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war zone in Bosnia. In the background, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm. First, he threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window over 200 yards away -ka-boom! Next, he threw another hand grenade into a group of about 10 soldiers a good 110 yards away-ka-blooey!
Then, a car passes going 90 miles an hour- bulls-eye! Another grenade right into the barely open window.
"I've got to get this guy," Al says to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So he brings him to the states and teaches him the great game of football. Predictably, the young man breaks all NFL records for completed passes, accuracy more...
Al Davis had put together the perfect Raiders team for '96. The only Thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, and he couldn't find a ringer quarterback that would ensure a Super Bowl win.Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war zone in Bosnia. In the background, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm. First, he threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window over 200 yards away -ka-boom! Next, he threw another hand grenade into a group of about 10 soldiers a good 110 yards away-ka-blooey! Then, a car passes going 90 miles an hour- bulls-eye! Another grenade right into the barely open window."I've got to get this guy," Al says to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So he brings him to the states and teaches him the great game of football. Predictably, the young man breaks all NFL records for completed passes, accuracy and touchdowns. more...