Queen Jokes / Recent Jokes

The story is told of a day when Queen Elizabeth had the Duke Of Edenbourgh over for a cup of tea. The conversation turned equestrian and the Queen was telling the Duke about her new prize horse.
After a spell of ranting and raving over this horse the Duke said, "Well, then, let's see this fine animal!"
So the Queen and the Duke went over to the stables to admire the horse.
At one point the Queen walked around the horse, just as it let out an earth trembling belch, with a smell that....
The Queen turned a bit red and said, "Oh, I am terribly sorry about that!"
"Oh, that's quite alright," the Duke replied, "I had thought it was the horse!"

How does a queen bee get around her hive? She's throne!

>The queen of England was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and
>during her tour of the floors she passed a
>room where a male patient was masturbating.
>
>"Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning
>of this???"
>
>The doctor leading the tour explains, "I'm sorry your ladyship, this man
>has a very serious condition where the
>testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a
>day, they would explode and he would most
>likely die instantly."
>
>"Oh, I am sorry" said the Queen.
>
>On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a
>patient a blow job.
>
>"Oh my God", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"
>
>The Doctor replied, "Same problem, better health plan."

What was the first think Queen Elizabeth did on ascending to the throne? Sat down!

once aman was admiring himself infront of bathroom mirror. then
hemuttered to himself another two inches more iwould be a king.
his wife overheard this and said yes yes another two inches less
you would be a queen.

I just got back from a sailing holiday where I remembered this true tale
you might be interested in.
A friend was looking for a second hand boat (a Laser) to buy, when he
hit on a great idea...
At his sailing club (the Queen Mary in London) there was a large trailer
park and a smaller yard where the management put trailers and boats if
the owner didn't pay their membership for 12 months. The Queen Mary club
is very big and at the time there were three or four Lasers in this
yard that judging from their condition hadn't been sailed for at least
a year.
My friend took down the numbers of these boats and asked the club secretary
for the owners address so that he could make them an offer. The first chap
he rang said he wasn't interested in selling as he was going to sail it
himself "one of these days."
He then rang the second owner who lived about 100 miles away. A woman
answered the phone and confirmed that they did more...

One night, a king a queen a prince and a princess were at a bar and they decided to take a vacation to colorado and they get on the plane and then the plane crashes. The king, the queen, the prince and the princess all die, who was left?
The night was left because when you say this to someone the will think it is the night sky, unlike the person!!!
Why was piglet looking in the toilet?
He was looking for pooh!!!
There was a man and he walked into a drinking bar and another man gave him a glass of water and then pointed a gun at him, why did he do this?
He had the hiccups!!!