Raffle Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Cajun named Jean Paul moved to Texas and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day the farmer rove up and said, "Sorry, but I got some bad news. The donkey died.""Well then, just give me my money back.""Cain't do that. I went and spent it already.""OK then, just unload the donkey.""What ya gonna do with em.""I'm gonna raffle him off.""Ya cain't raffle off a dead donkey!""Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anyone he's dead."A month later the farmer met up with the Cajun and asked, "What happened with the dead donkey?""I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2.00 apiece and made a profit of $898.00.""Didn't no one complain?""Just the guy who won. So I gave him his $2.00 back."

A man from the city is out plowing his field and gets his tractor stuck in the wet ground.
A farmer driving by stops his truck and walks to the fence to call over the city feller. You need a mule to plow such wet ground he says.
"Where can I buy one?" he is asked.
Well, I just happened to have one for 100 dollars he says.
"I'll take him," says the other man as he counts out the money.
I can't bring him over today. I don't work on Sunday morrow OK?
"Sure."
The next day the truck pulls up and the old farmer gets out. He says, "sorry, bad news."
I went out after breakfeast and the mule was dead.
The city feller says just give me my money back then.
"Can't, spent it already!"
"Well... unload the mule then."
"What ya gonna do with him?"
"Raffle him off!"
"Naw, ya cant raffle off a dead mule!"
"Just watch me us! City more...

One day a woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she's wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, "Where did you get that necklace?"

She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start supper."

The next day, the woman arrives home from work wearing a diamond bracelet. Her husband asks, "Where did you get the bracelet?"

She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start supper."

The next day, her husband notices she arrives home from work wearing a mink coat. He says, "I suppose you won that in a raffle at work?"

She replies, "Yeah I did! How did you guess? Go get my bath ready while I start supper."

Later after supper, she goes to take her bath and she notices there is only one inch of water in the tub. She yells to her husband, "HEY! There's only an inch of water in the more...

A man from the city is out plowing his field and gets his tractor stuck in the wet ground.A farmer driving by stops his truck and walks to the fence to call over the city feller. You need a mule to plow such wet ground he says."Where can I buy one?" he is asked.Well, I just happened to have one for 100 dollars he says."I'll take him," says the other man as he counts out the money.I can't bring him over today. I don't work on Sunday morrow OK?"Sure."The next day the truck pulls up and the old farmer gets out. He says, "sorry, bad news."I went out after breakfeast and the mule was dead.The city feller says just give me my money back then."Can't, spent it already!""Well... unload the mule then.""What ya gonna do with him?""Raffle him off!""Naw, ya cant raffle off a dead mule!""Just watch me us! City fellers know a few tricks."One month goes by and the city feller and farmer run into each more...

Kenny, a city boy, moved to the country and purchased a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the following day.
The next morning, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The donkey died."
"Well, just return my money to me," Kenny said.
"Sorry, can't do that," said the farmer. "I already spent it."
"OK then, just unload the donkey," said Kenny.
"Whatcha gonna do with him?" asked the farmer.
"I'm going to raffle him off," Kenny replied.
"You can't raffle off a dead donkey!" the farmer exclaimed.
"Of course I can," replied Kenny. "Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead."
A few weeks later, the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "So, what happened with the dead donkey?"
"I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of more...

A Cajun named Jean Paul moved to Texas and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, but I got some bad news. The donkey died."
"Well then, just give me my money back."
"I can't do that. I went and spent it already."
"OK then, just unload the donkey."
"What ya gonna do with em."
"I'm gonna raffle him off."
"Ya can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
"Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anyone he's dead."
A month later the farmer met up with the Cajun and asked, "What happened with the dead donkey?"
"I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2 apiece and made a profit of $898."
"Didn't anyone complain?"
"Just the guy who won. So I gave him his $2 back."

The old farmer's mule had finally died of old age just before spring planting, so the farmer made a trip to town to buy another mule. His $125 didn't buy much, but he was satisfied with his purchase and he made arrangements to return the next day with a horse trailer to pick up the mule and the dealer agreed to keep it overnight for him. Early the next day, the old man returned. "Jim," said the mule dealer, "that old mule died last night. I'm real sorry to have to tell you this. I know you were counting on it for your spring garden." The dealer offered Jim his money back, but Jim refused because a bargain was a bargain. He loaded the dead mule on his truck and left. A couple of months later, the mule dealer happened to drive by Jim's place and was astonished to see Jim working his garden on a new $4,000 garden tractor. Honking his horn, he called Jim over and asked him how in the world he had managed to buy a tractor when, not too long ago, all he had was the $125 more...