Randy Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two guys who wanted to get a job at a computer company way out west decided they'd better get a college education so they could interact with intelligent people, learn to read books, think, and be contributing citizens of the global village.
They enrolled in the local junior college, and the first guy went in to see his advisor, who said, "Randy, I want you to take history, math, and logic."
"What's logic?" asked Randy.
"Well," said the professor, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed-eater?"
"Why, yes, I do," replied Randy.
"OK," continued the professor, "logic tells me that you have a yard!"
"Amazing," gushed the young rube.
"And," continued the professor, "since you have a yard, logic tells me that you have a house."
"I do! I do!" exclaimed the boy.
"And," continued the professor, "if you have a house, you more...
A Canadian bloke is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.His friend Randy stops him and asks, "Hey Dave! Whatcha got that case of beer for?""Well, I got it for my wife, you see?" answers Dave."Wow," exclaims Randy, "Great trade."
A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the
market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a
special rooster- one that service all of his many hens and when
he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied: "I have
just the rooster for you. Randy here is the horniest rooster you
will ever see!"
So the farmer took Randy back to the farm. Before setting him loose
in the hen house though, he gave Randy a little pep talk. "Randy", he
said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff". And without a word he
strutted into the hen house.
Randy was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a
thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till
Randy had finished having his way with each hen. But Randy didn't stop
there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one
and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig more...
Two guys who wanted to get a job at a computer company decided they'd
better get a college education so they could interact with intelligent
people, learn to read books, think, and be contributing citizens of the
global village.
They enrolled in the local junior college, and the first guy went in to
see his advisor, who said, "Randy, I want you to take History, Math and
Logic." "What's Logic?" asked Randy. "Well," said the professor, "I'll
give you an example: Do you own a weedeater?" "Why, yes, I do," replied
Randy. "OK," continued the professor, "logic tells me that you have a
yard!" "Amazing," gushed the young rube. "And," continued the professor,
"since you have a yard, logic tells me that you have a house." "I do! I
do!" exclaimed the boy. "And," continued the professor, "if you have a
house, you more...
Randy and John were out for the usual round of golf one day. "Tell you what, Johnn. Let's make this
game worth our time. I'll bet you a dollar that I score lower than you do this round."
"Sounds good, Randy."
And they were off. They matched scores for the first eight holes, and things were looking good when
they teed off on the ninth. After their first drives, they trooped off for the next stroke. Problem
was, Randy could not find his ball. He looked all over, but to no avail. "John, help me look for my
ball!"
"I'll look around from here, Randy. Don't forget--a lost ball counts as four strokes!"
Randy looked around some more, but couldn't find his ball. Finally, out of desperation, he snuck a
new ball out of his pocket, and dropped it when John was not looking.
"John, I've found me ball!"
John exploded: "You cheater! How dare you! I never thought that any man I played a more...
A wife arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to find her
husband in bed with a young lovely thing. Just as she was about to
storm out of the house her husband stopped her with these words.
Before you leave, I want you to hear how all this came about. Driving
along the highway, I saw this young girl looking tired and bedraggled,
so I offered her a lift. She was hungry, so I brought her home and made
a meal from the roast you had forgotten in the refrigerator. She had
only some worn sandals, so I gave her a pair of good shoes you
discarded because they were out of style. She was cold, so I gave her
the sweater I bought you for your birthday - the one you never wore
because the colours didn't suit you. Her slacks were worn out, so I
gave her a pair of yours that were perfectly good, but too small for
you now. Then as she was about to leave the house, she paused and
asked;
"Is there anything else that more...