Randy Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a farmer decided that he wanted to expand his chicken farming. In order to do this he would need a stud rooster. He asked around his fellow farmers and the general consensus was that the best rooster was from a far away town. His name was Randy. The farmer went to this far away town and met with Randy's owner. The owner confirmed that Randy was indeed the best, but would come at an expensive price. After much deliberation, the farmer decided to invest in Randy.
When the farmer got home, he sat down with Randy and explained what he needed and reinforced the great expense he went through to obtain Randy. He told him that while he expected Randy to perform, he also expected Randy to pace himself. The farmer released Randy in the hen house and Randy went wild. Feathers where flying and Randy was servicing every hen in the house. The farmer reiterated to Randy the necessity of pace. The next day, Randy not only went flying through the hen house, but also went after the dog, more...

Santa Claus, the corpulent spreader of tidings and good cheer,
may not come this year if Randy doesn't clean up the mess he
made, according to highly placed sources close to mommy and daddy.
"First he scattered G. I. Joes to and fro and now there's a Weeble
village occupying our den. When will it end!?" said Randy's
exasperated mother.
"Santa only visits good boys and girls, and right now, Randy is
only one discarded Mr. Potatohead away from bad," daddy added.
Claus, whose belly reportedly shakes like a bowl full of jelly,
has earned widespread praise for his centuries-old tradition of
delivering toys to well-behaving Christian children around the
world.
A decision not to come this year would mark the first major
interruption of Claus's deliveries since a bloody 1982 knife fight
left the elderly Claus clinging to life and two reindeer indicted
for assault.
Authorities here have stressed more...

I understand that it would be considered 'bad taste' to introduce myself as Randy. eg "Hi, I'm randy"
Not bad taste, but rather on the forward side. The equivalent perhaps of "Hi, I'm horny". Guaranteed to go down well in parties.
By the way, I always felt that Randy Vanwarmer was a great name. It has descriptive possibilities as well as being a name.
PS when I was in college there was a guy with a name of Nick Childharmer. Guess he wouldn't get a Social Services job.

A Canadian bloke is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.
His friend Randy stops him and asks, "Hey Dave! Whatcha got that case of beer for?"
"Well, I got it for my wife, you see?" answers Dave.
"Wow," exclaims Randy, "Great trade.

Randy excitedly called his mother and told her that he had fallen in love and was going to be married. "Just for the fun of it, Mom, I'm going to bring over three women and you try to guess which one she is."
The following day Randy brought three gorgeous women to his mother's house. They all sat down with his mother and talked for awhile, then he turned to her and said, "Ok, Mom, now guess which one I'm going to marry."
Without hesitation, his mother replied, "The one sitting in the middle."
"You're amazing, Mom. That's right. How did you know?" he asked.
"Simple," his mother replied. "I don't like her!"

A Canadian bloke is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.
His friend Randy stops him and asks, "Hey Dave! Whatcha got that case of beer for?" "Well, I got it for my wife, you see?" answers Dave. "Wow," exclaims Randy, "Great trade.

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that service all of his many hens.
When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, "I have just the rooster for you. Randy here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!"
So the farmer took Randy back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the henhouse though, he gave Randy a little pep talk. "Randy," he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff." And without a word, Randy strutted into the henhouse.
He was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Randy had finished having his way with each hen. But he didn't stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace.
Then he went to the pighouse, where he did the same. The farmer, watching all of this more...