Rare Jokes / Recent Jokes

An art connoisseur was walking by a butcher shop when he noticed a mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer. The saucer, he realized with a start, was a rare and precious piece of pottery.
He immediately entered the shop and offered the owner two dollars for the kitten. "Sorry, but it's not for sale," said the proprietor.
"Look," said the collector, "that kitten is dirty and undesirable, but I'm eccentric. I like kittens that way. I'll raise my offer to ten dollars."
"You've got a deal," said the proprietor, and pocketed the ten on the spot.
"For that sum, I'm sure you won't mind throwing in the saucer," said the connoisseur. "The kitten seems so happy drinking from it."
"Not a chance!" said the proprietor firmly. "That happens to be my lucky saucer. From that saucer, so far this week, I've sold 27 kittens!"

Tommy the Hedgehog was one of a rare sub-division which suffered a small but significant genetic defect.
This defect manifested itself in a malformed penis, which divided into four branches; though a little unusual, it was a good way to meet a lot of intrigued girl hedgehogs, so Tommy was a rather proud of this abnormality.
One peculiarity of his family was the way that he slept; curled up in a ball, lying on his back, and it was while taking a nap one day that he felt a terrible pain in the genital region.
He jumped up to see his penis disappear down the throat of a large cat.
"What the HELL are you playing at?" shouted Tommy; "I'm awfully sorry," replied the cat, "it's just that I'm a four-point tool eater jaguar."

Obesity has been getting a lot of bad press recently. Research conducted entirely by thin people, has uncovered justification for their own masochistic obsessive-compulsive, fun-killing anal retentative lifestyles.
One of the great problems with research, of course, is that the researchers tend to find what they're looking for. And when they find it, they stop looking for other things. It's important, therefore, not to believe research by pressure groups that start with preconceived ideas.
Examples of findings not to believe: research on the benefits of exercise by phys. Ed. Department, on the hazards of cholesterol by an anorexic and on the joy of obesity by an overweight G. P. The whole obesity phobia was started by some statistics from a life insurance company purporting to show that people who were overweight didn't live as long as people who were underweight. These were very raw figures and led to some unwarranted conclusions.
First, it was assumed that if the more...

Two Bangladeshi fishermen raised controversy after they beat a rare dolphin to death. They claimed they did it in shock because they had never seen something like it before.

Using the same excuse, Clay Aiken then punched a vagina.