Rates Jokes

In a market there was a shop where brains were sold. a man asked the rates and the shopkeeper replied all have different rates. he asked "ok tell me ", shopkeeper replied,"this is a hindu brain for 500 rs, this is a muslim brains for 500 rs", and then the person asked that one in the showcase, the shopkeeper replied thats a sardars brain for 5 lac, he said, "why is it so expensive ", shopkeeper replied "cause it has never been used".

A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates.“$50.00 for three questions,” replied the lawyer.“Isn't that awfully steep?” asked the man.“Yes,” the lawyer replied, “and what was your third question?”

A group of very attractive young female city employees discovered they could nicely supplement their income by moonlighting as call girls. One of the girls discovered she was more successful as a blonde after having her hair bleached. She convinced the others that the old saying, "Blondes have more fun," is true. The ladies became so popular that they were able to charge exorbitant rates.
They even charged their taxi fares to the Johns they served. When hard times hit and the market got soft, they needed a bigger come-on. Some of them understood the economic law of supply and demand, so decided to lower their rates. They decided not to include taxi fares in the fees they charged their customers.
They have become known as: The taxi-free municipal blondes.

You're waking up at 6 am instead of going to bed.
Beers at lunch get you reprimanded.
College sweatshirts are' casual' instead of dress up.
Your parents charge rent.
Your parents walk in on you having sex, not your roommate.
The four food groups are no longer beer, pizza, ramen and cereal.
It's' getting late' when it's 11:00 p.m.
Three words: School Loan Payments.
You make thousands of dollars a year - and still can't afford that dream Porsche.
You start eyeing the Light Beer Section appreciatively. Pickup football games mean that at least one person will be in the hospital by game's end.
THEN, discussing with your friends: GPA's, phone rates and tonsil hockey;
NOW: IRA's, Interest rates and their kid's orthodontia.
Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
Naps are no longer available between noon and 6 p.m.
Sneakers are now' weekend shoes'.
Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of more...

Recently, one airline introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips.
Confident they would receive valuable testimonials, the airline's publicity department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip.
Responses are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"