Recent Jokes / Recent Jokes
During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit afortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news."There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepareyourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent andhorrible death this year."Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman's lined face, then atthe single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took afew deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. Shemet the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked herquestion:"Will I be acquitted?"
> A recent college graduate took a new job in a hilly Eastern city
>and began commuting each day to work through a tiring array of tunnels,
>bridges and traffic jams. To make the task less demanding, he invited
>several of his coworkers to share the ride.
>
> He soon found, however, that the commute continued to get more
>stressful, especially the trips through the tunnels. He consulted the
>company doctor.
>
> "Doc," the frustrated commuter complained, "I'm fine on the
>bridges, in the traffic, in the day and at night, and even when Joe
>forgets to bathe all week long. But when I get in the tunnels and I've
>got those four other guys crowded around me in the car, I get anxious and
>dizzy and feel like I'm going to explode."
>
> Without further analysis, the doctor announced he had identified
>the ailment.
>
> "What is it, Doc? Am I going insane?"
>
> more...
During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter
concluded that the behavior of President Clinton and Rep. Condit had
brought about the need for an eleventh commandment.
They worked long and hard in a brain storming
A recent survey done by marriage experts shows that the most common form of marriage proposal these days consists of the words: "Youre what?!?"
A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks tohis wife about thirty-seven minutes each week. Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take tosay "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "Im sorry"?
At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians. American: "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1. This will record the call and connect them with the police."Russian: "In Russia we dont require that you dial anything."
Recent reports indicate the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of improving. If anything, it`s getting worse. Following last week`s news that Origami Bank had folded, it was today learned that Sumo Bank has gone belly up. Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale and is going for a song. Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and 500 jobs at Karate Bank will be chopped. Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.