Receptionist Jokes / Recent Jokes

An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared.
The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office.
The woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived alone all my life, I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?"
The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and he went to the spinster's home for the meeting to discuss her estate and the will.
The lawyer's first question was, "Would you please tell me what you have in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed under your will?"
She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories you see here, I have $40, 000 in my savings account at the bank."
"Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you like the $40, 000 to be more...

A law firm receptionist answered the phone the morning after the firm's senior partner had passed away unexpectedly.
"Is Mr. Smith there?", asked the client on the phone.
"I'm very sorry, but Mr. Smith passed away last night," the receptionist answered.
"Is Mr. Smith there?", repeated the client.
The receptionist was perplexed. "Perhaps you didn't understand me I'm afraid Mr. Smith passed away last night."
"Is Mr. Smith there?", asked the client again.
"Ma'am, do you understand what I'm saying?", said the exasperated receptionist. "Mr. Smith is DEAD!"
"I understand you perfectly," the client sighed. "I just can't hear it often enough."

A guy phones a law office and says: "I want to speak to my lawyer."
The receptionist replies, "I`m sorry but he died last week."
The next day he phones again and asks the same question.
The receptionist replies, "I told you yesterday, he died last week."
The next day the guy calls again and asks to speak to his lawyer.
By this time the receptionist is getting a little annoyed and says, "I keep telling you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?"
The guy says, "Because I just love hearing it."

A man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist asked, "Yes sir, may we help you?" "There's something wrong with my dick," he replied. The receptionist became aggravated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that." "Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said." We do not use language like that here," she said. "Please go outside and come back in and say that there's something wrong with your' ear' or whatever." The man walked out, waited several minutes and reentered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?" "There's something wrong with my' ear'," he stated. The receptionist nodded approvingly, "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?" "I can't piss out of it," the man replied!

A man entered a crowded doctor's office and approached the desk. "Yes, may we help you?" asked the receptionist.
"There's something wrong with my dick," the man replied.
"Sir!" the aggravated receptionist said, "It's not proper to come into a crowded office and say such things."
"Why not? You asked what was wrong and I told you," replied the man.
"We don't use language like that in here," she said. "Now, please go outside and come back in and say there's something wrong with your ear, eye or whatever."
The man left the office, waited a few minutes, and went back in. "Yes, sir, may we help you?" the receptionist asked, smiling smugly.
"There's something wrong with my ear," the man said.
"What seems to be the problem with your ear?" asked the receptionist.
"I can't piss out of it!" he replied.

A man calls his lawyers office. When the receptionist answers the phone he asks to speak to Mr. Taylor, his lawyer. The receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but Mr. Taylor died last week." The man says nothing and hangs up the phone. The next day he calls the office and again asks for Mr. Taylor. The receptionist says, "Sir, I told you yesterday that Mr. Taylor has died." The man again says nothing and hangs up the phone. The next day he calls the office again and asks for his lawyer. The receptionist gets angry and says "Sir, I have told you for two days that Mr. Taylor has passed away. Why do you continue to call?" The man then answers "I like hearing good news when I call my lawyers office."

A guy phones a law firm and says, “I want to speak to my lawyer. ”
The receptionist says, “I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last week. ”
The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, “I want to speak to my lawyer. ”
Once again the receptionist replies, “I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last week. ”
The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, “I want to speak to my lawyer. ”
“Excuse me sir, ” the receptionist says, “but this is third time I’ve had to tell you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling? ”
The guy replies, “Because I love hearing it! ”