Receptionist Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man walked into a stockbroker's office and said to the receptionist, "I just won some money in the lottery, and I want to open an account with your %**!&%! company." Heads turned in shock at hearing the man's language. "I'm sorry, but we don't allow that kind of talk here," the receptionist said. "You'll have to leave." "I told you I want to open an account with this %**!&%! company." the man insisted. Suddenly the manager came out. "What's all the swearing about?" he asked. "I just won $12 million and I want to open an account with your %**!&%! company," the man replied. "Oh, I see," said the manager. "And these %**!&%! people are giving you a hard time?"

A man walked into a stockbroker's office and said to the receptionist, "I just won the lottery, and I want to open an account with your %**!&%*! company."
Heads turned in shock at hearing the man's language. "I'm sorry, but we don't allow that kind of talk here," the receptionist said. "You'll have to leave."
"I told you I want to open an account with this %**!&%*! company," the man insisted.
Suddenly the manager came out. "What's all the swearing about?" he asked.
"I just won $12 million and I want to open an account with your %**!&%*! company," the man replied.
"Oh, I see," said the manager. "And are these %**!&%*! people giving you a hard time?"

A guy walked into the doctor's surgery for an appointment. "Would you like to tell me your problem?" the pretty blonde receptionist asked. "I'll need the information for the doctor." "It's rather embarrassing" the guy stammered. "You see, I have a very large and almost constant erection." "Well, the doctor is very busy today" the receptionist cooed, "but maybe I can squeeze you in."

There was a man who got a job as a hotel receptionist and his boss was giving him some tips the day before his very first shift on the phone.
One of the tips was: When showing the guests to their rooms, always be polite and say their names which is usually situated on the label on their suitcases.
After hearing this, he started his job the next day and led his first guests to their room. Remembering what his boss said, he looked at the label on their suitcase and said:
"Welcome to our hotel, we hope you enjoy your stay Mr and Mrs real leather!"

A man phoned the law office and told the receptionist, "I want to speak with my lawyer."
"I'm sorry, he's gone. He passed away last week," she replied.
The following day, he called again and said the same thing, "I want to speak with my lawyer."
The receptionist said, "I already told you yesterday, Mr. Barnes passed away last week."
The very next day he called again and again told her he wanted to speak with his lawyer. By this time, the receptionist was very annoyed and said to him, "Look, I keep telling you that your lawyer is gone, dead, passed away. Why do you continue to call.?
"Because I love hearing it!" he replied.

A man phoned up an exclusive escort agency and asked for a woman.
"No problem," said the receptionist.
"There's just one thing," said the man,"she has to be 6' 6" tall and weigh 48lbs."
"Mmm, let me see -yes we can do that for you, but it will be expensive," said the receptionist.
"That's o.k," said the man.
"When do you want her?".
"Tomorrow night at 7pm," said the man.
The next night the doorbell rings and a painfully thin 6' 6" black woman is standing on his doorstep.
"Come in, take off all your clothes and go down on all fours," said the man.
She complies with his request.
He opens the kitchen door and a scrawny black labrador emerges.
The woman thinks, "Oh shit, what have I let myself in for?"
The man points at his dog and says, "Now that's what you'll look like if you don't eat all your dog food."

A very drunk man looking for a whorehouse staggers into a Podiatrist's office instead and weaves his way over to the receptionist.
Without bothering to look up, she waves him over to the examination bed and says, "Just stick it through the curtain."
Hoping something kinky was about to happen, the drunk pulls out his penis and sticks it through the crack in the curtain.
"That's not a foot!" the receptionist screams.
"Holy shit, lady," the drunk replies, "I didn't know you had a minimum."