Receptionist Jokes / Recent Jokes
A redneck calles up the White House and tells the receptionist:"Id like to become the next President of the United States."The receptionist: "What are you, an idiot?"Redneck: "Why, is it required?"
A man's dog has a problem so he takes him to the vet's. The vet looks at the dog and says that he'll have to take him to the examining room. In the examining room, he takes a cat out of a cage and lets the cat walk all over the dog, but the dog doesn't do anything.
The doctor say "Your dog is dead."
The man goes out to the receptionist and asks for his bill.
"That'll be $325" says the receptionist.
"What! $325? How's that possible?"
"It's $25 for the consultation, and $300 for the Cat scan."
NOTE: The students might not recognise the word CAT scan.
An older gent had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients.
He approached the receptionist desk. The receptionist was a large imposing woman who looked like a wrestler. He gave her his name. In a VERY LOUD VOICE the receptionist said, "YES, I SEE YOUR NAME HERE -- YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"
All of the patients in the waiting room snapped their head around to look at the very embarrassed man.
He recovered quickly though, and in an equally loud voice replied, "NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION -- AND I'D LIKE THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS."
An older gent had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients.
He approached the receptionist desk. The receptionist was a large imposing woman who looked like a wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very load voice the receptionist said, "Yes, I see your name here... you want to see the doctor about impotence, right?"
The heads of all the patients in the waiting room snapped around, to look at the very embarrassed man.
He recovered quickly though, and in an equally loud voice replied, "No, I've come to inquire about a sex change operation... and I'd like the same doctor that did yours!"
An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared.
The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office. The woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived alone all my life, I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?"
The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and he went to the spinster's home for the meeting to discuss her estate and the will.
The lawyer's first question was, "Would you please tell me what you have in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed under your will?"
She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories you see here, I have $40, 000 in my savings account at the bank."
"Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you like the $40, 000 to be more...
A receptionist answered the phone in a busy office, "Good afternoon, Denver Parachute Club. How may I help you?"
"Pardon me, but isn't this the Denver Prostitute Club?" asked a startled man on the other end.
"No, sir," the embarrassed receptionist replied. "This is the Denver Parachute Club."
"Oh, dear," the man said. "I'm afraid I've made a big mistake. Your salesman called a week ago and signed me up for two jumps a week."
A local business looking for office help put a ign in the window saying:
HELP WANTED. MUST BE ABLE TO TYPE, MUST BE GOOD WITH COMPUTERS AND MUST BE BILINGUAL.
A short time later a dog walked upto the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over t the sign, looked and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager lookd at the dog and was suprised, to say the least. However since the dog looked determined, he led him into the office. The dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager who said "I cant hire you, you have o be able to type."
The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and typed out a perfect letter. He took the letter to the manager and jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then reminded the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."
So the dog jumped off the chair and went to the computer. Then he more...