Rectum Jokes / Recent Jokes

A FRIEND OF MINE HAS AN 18 YEAR OLD SON NAMED LEROY. HE ATTENDS OAKLAND HIGH SCHOOL WHERE THEY TEACH EBONICS AS A SECOND LANGUAGE. LAST WEEK HE WAS GIVEN AN EASY HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT. ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS PUT EACH OF THE FOLLOWING WORDS IN A SENTENCE. THIS IS WHAT LEROY DID.
1. RECTUM: I HAD TWO CADILLACS, BUT MY OL'LADY RECTUM BOTH.
2. HOTEL: I GAVE MY GIRLFRIEND DA CRABS AND THE HOTEL EVERYBODY.
3. ODYSSEY: I TOLD MY BRO, YOU ODYSSEY THE JUGS ON THIS HOE.
4. STAIN: MY MOTHER-IN-LAW AXED IF I WAS STAIN FOR DINNER AGAIN.
5. SELDOM: MY COUSIN GAVE ME TWO TICKETS TO THE KNICKS GAME, SO I SELDOM.
6. PENIS: I WENT TO DA DOCTOR AND HE HANDED ME A CUP AND SAID PENIS.
7. CATACOMB: DON KING WAS AT THE FIGHT THE OTHER NIGHT, MAN, SOMEBODY GIVE THAT CATACOMB.
8. FORCLOSE: IF I PAY ALIMONY THIS MONTH, I'LL HAVE NO MONEY FORCLOSE.
9. UNDERMINE: THERE IS A FINE LOOKIN' HOE LIVIN' IN THE APARTMENT UNDERMINE.
10. TRIPOLI: I WAS GONNA BUY MY OLD LADY A BRA BUT I more...

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from his store on a regular basis and would like some more.
"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But I always buy it here." says the blonde.
"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.
"YES," said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant"
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container...
"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."

A medical student was in the morgue one day after classes, getting a little practice in before the final exams.
He went over to a table where a body was lying face down. He removed the sheet over the body and to his surprise he found a cork in the corpse's rectum. Figuring this was fairly unusual, he pulled the cork out, and to his surprise, music began playing "On the road again. .. Just can't wait to get on the road again. .."
The student was amazed, and placed the cork back in the rectum. The music stopped. Totally freaked out, the student called the Medical Examiner over to the corpse.
"Look at this. This is really something!" the student told the examiner as he pulled the cork back out again.
"On the road again. .. Just can't wait to get on the road again. .."
"So what?" - the Medical Examiner replied, obviously unimpressed with the student's discovery.
"But isn't that the most amazing thing you've ever more...

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.
The brain said: "I should be in charge, because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the heart, "because I pump the blood and circulate oxygen all over the body, so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic. Eventually the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.
The moral of the story?
You don't have to be smart or important to be in more...

A game warden came upon a duck hunter who had bagged 3 ducks and decided to' enforce the laws pending.' He stopped the hunter, flashed his badge and said,' Looks like you've had a pretty good day. Mind if I inspect your kill?'

The hunter shrugged and handed the ducks to the warden. The warden took one of the ducks, inserted his finger into the duck's rectum, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said,' This here's a Washington state duck. Do you have a Washington state hunting license?'

The hunter pulled out his wallet and calmly showed the warden a Washington state hunting license. The warden took a second duck, inserted his finger in the bird's rectum, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said,' This here's an Idaho duck. Do you have an Idaho state hunting license?'

The hunter, a bit put out, produced an Idaho state hunting license. The warden took a third duck, conducted the same finger test, and said,' This here's an Oregon state duck. Do you have an Oregon more...