Redneck Jokes / Recent Jokes
Your master bathroom has the words "porta" and "potty" written on the side.
You can't take a bath in the winter 'cause the stream is frozen.
You only bathe when it rains.
The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.
The National Poetry Contest had come down to the last two, a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a word, then they were allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word that they were given was "Timbuktu."
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked a lonely caravan;
Men on camels, two by two,
Destination Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
Me and Tim a huntin' went,
Met three whores in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.
The redneck won hands down!
This rich guy from the north is driving his Lincoln Continental down
to New Orleans. Along the way he picks up a redneck.
The redneck looks quizzically at the dash board and says, "What are
those thangs?" The driver says, "Those are golf tees".
The redneck asks, "What those are for?" The driver says "Those hold
my balls when I drive."
The redneck says, "Sheeit, these Lincolns sure come with
everythang!"
You might be a redneck if...
Your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.