Refrain Jokes

A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"
"Guilty", said the man in the dock.
At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted "You dirty rat!" The Judge asked the man to site down and to refrain from making any noise.
The Judge continued "... and that also on the 17th September you are accused of killing your son by beating him to death with a hammer, how do you plead"?
"Guilty", said the man in the dock.
Again the same man at the back stood up and shouted even louder, "You dirty rotten stinking rat"!!
At this point the Judge called the man to the bench and said, "I have already asked you to be quiet, if you continue with these outbursts, I will have to charge you with contempt of court. I can understand your feelings, but what relationship have you to this man?"
He more...

1. Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.
2. Refrain means don't do it. A refrain in music is the part you better
not try to sing.
3. A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.
4. John Sebastian Bach died from 1750 to the present.
5. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was rather large.
6. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote
loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was
calling him. I guess he could not hear so good. Beethoven expired in
1827 and later died from this.
7. Henry Purcell is a well known composer few people have ever heard of.
8. Aaron Copland is one of your most famous contemporary composers. It is
unusual to be contemporary. Most composers do not live until they are dead.
9. An opera is a song of bigly size.
10. In the last scene of Pagliacci, Canio stabs Nedda who is the one he
really loves. Pretty soon more...

Home on the Web
(to the tune of "Home on the Range")
VERSE: Oh give me a site where the links all work right - one that doesn't take too long to load - where the text can be seen on my 13-inch screen - one that offers a "no-Java" mode.
REFRAIN: Home, home on the Web on my 486 IBM. Please take pity on me - I'm still on Netscape 3 with a 14.4-speed modem!
VERSE: Though your video files give your pages some style I can't read them upon my PC; Massive graphics and sound crash my system, I've found, so please put in some "alt" tags for me!
REFRAIN: Home, home on the Web on my 486 IBM Please take pity on me - I'm still on Netscape 3 with a 14.4-speed modem!
VERSE: Please don't ask me to "chat" with your favorite cat; I don't have an IRC code. And don't ask me to buy games for Win 95 - My PC is way too darn old!
REFRAIN: Home, home on the Web on my 486 IBM Please take pity on me - I'm still on Netscape 3 with a 14.4-speed more...

The principal singer of nineteenth-century opera was called pre-Madonna.It is easy to teach anyone to play the maracas. Just grip the neck and shake him in rhythm.Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines.Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.At one time singers had to use musicians to accompany them. Since synthesizers came along, singers can now play themselves.All female parts were sung by castrati. We don't know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants.Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven's Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin's Rap City in Blue.Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco.A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.Diatonic is a low calorie Schweppes.Probably the most marvellous fugue was the one between the more...

A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"

"Guilty", said the man in the dock.

At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted "You dirty rat!" The Judge asked the man to site down and to refrain from making any noise.

The Judge continued "..... and that also on the 17th September you are accused of killing your son by beating him to death with a hammer, how do you plead"?

"Guilty", said the man in the dock.
Again the same man at the back stood up and shouted even louder, "You dirty rotten stinking rat"!!

At this point the Judge called the man to the bench and said, "I have already asked you to be quiet, if you continue with these outbursts, I will have to charge you with contempt of court. I can understand your feelings, but what more...