Refrigerator Jokes / Recent Jokes

Yo Mama is like a refrigerator, every one sticks there meet in her!

Three men die and go to heaven. They meet up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, and he says, "Well, there's not that much room left in heaven, so you have to tell me an interesting way that you died, and if it's interesting enough, I'll let you in."
So St. Peter goes into his office and calls in the first man.
He says, "I was coming home from work one day early, and when I walked in the door, I had a strange suspicion that my wife was cheating on me. I walk into our room and sure enough, find her sprawled out naked alone on our bed. Sure that the guy was in the house, I searched frantically to find him... Under the bed, in the closet... Finally I found him hanging from our ledge on our balcony. Furious, I stepped on his hand and he went plummetting two stories down. However, he landed in a bush and I wasn't sure if he was dead yet. So I pushed the refrigerator out onto him. Later, I felt so guilty I committed suicide."
"Wow," said St. Peter, more...

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
158. Hang a basketball net on the wall. Challenge your refrigerator to basketball games, and play them in front of your roommate. Do so for about a month. Confide in your roommate that you think the refrigerator has been taking steroids.

1) How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
You open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door.
2) How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
You open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.
3) The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend, except one. Which animal does not attend?
The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator.
4) There is a river you must cross. But it is filled with crocodiles. How do you manage it?
You swim across - all the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

A Thanksgiving Cookbook
by Mrs. Geraghty's Kindergarten Class
NOTE: Mrs. Geraghty will not be reponsible for medical bills resulting from use of her cookbook.
Ivette - Banana Pie
You buy some bananas and crust. Then you mash them up and put them in the pie. Then you eat it.
Russell - Turkey
You cut the turkey up and put it in the oven for ten minutes and 300 degrees. You put gravy on it and eat it.
Geremy - Turkey
You buy the turkey and take the paper off. Then you put it in the refrigerator and take it back out and cut it with a knife and make sure all the wires are out and take out the neck and heart. Then you put it in a big pan and cook it for half an hour at 80 degrees. Then you invite people over and eat.
Andrew - Pizza
Buy some dough, some cheese and pepperoni. Then you cook it for 10 hours at 5 degrees. Then you eat it.
Shelby - Applesauce
Go to the store and buy some apples, and then you squish them up. Then you put more...

Three guys die and go to Hell. The Devil asks each of them how
they died.
The first guy said "I was standing on my balcony when I leaned
and fell, but I got hold of the balcony below my apartment, when
a maniac lifted my hands and pushed me off the balcony,
fortunately I fell on a tree and I was still alive. But the
psycho wasn't done he killed me by throwing a refrigerator on me."
The Second guy said "I came home from a tough day of work when I
saw my wife on the bed wearing a sexy lingeria. I suspected that
she was having an affair with someone. I went to my balcony and
saw someone hanging on my balcony. I was furious, I pushed him
off, but he escaped when he fell on a tree, I got so mad, I took
my refrigerator and threw it on him, but my shirt got caught on
the refrigerator door, I fell with the fride and died."
The third guy said "I was having an affair with a married woman
when her more...

Attempt To Spend 5 Years Working At Mcdonalds, And Not Get Promoted.

Ensure That Any Promotions You Do Get Are From Stepping On The Dead Bodies Of Your Co-Workers.

Needle Gun The Aluminum Siding On Your House After Your Neighbors Have Gone To Bed.

When Your Children Are In Bed, Run Into Their Room With A Megaphone, And Shout At The Top Of Your Lungs That Your Home Is Under Attack, And Order Them To Man Their Battle Stations. ("General Quarters, General Quarters, All Hands Man Your Battle Stations!")

Make Your Family Menu A Month Ahead Of Time And Do So Without Checking The Pantry And Refrigerator.

Post A Menu On The Refrigerator Door Informing Your Family That You Are Having Steak For Dinner. Then Make Them Wait In Line For At Least An Hour, When They Finally Get To The Kitchen, Tell Them That You Are Out Of Steak, But You Have Dried Ham Or Hot Dogs. Repeat Daily Until They Don't Pay Attention To The Menu Any More So more...