"Life In The Navy 4" joke

Attempt To Spend 5 Years Working At Mcdonalds, And Not Get Promoted.

Ensure That Any Promotions You Do Get Are From Stepping On The Dead Bodies Of Your Co-Workers.

Needle Gun The Aluminum Siding On Your House After Your Neighbors Have Gone To Bed.

When Your Children Are In Bed, Run Into Their Room With A Megaphone, And Shout At The Top Of Your Lungs That Your Home Is Under Attack, And Order Them To Man Their Battle Stations. ("General Quarters, General Quarters, All Hands Man Your Battle Stations!")

Make Your Family Menu A Month Ahead Of Time And Do So Without Checking The Pantry And Refrigerator.

Post A Menu On The Refrigerator Door Informing Your Family That You Are Having Steak For Dinner. Then Make Them Wait In Line For At Least An Hour, When They Finally Get To The Kitchen, Tell Them That You Are Out Of Steak, But You Have Dried Ham Or Hot Dogs. Repeat Daily Until They Don't Pay Attention To The Menu Any More So They Just Ask For Hot Dogs.

When Baking A Cake, Prop Up One Side Of The Pan While It Is In The Oven. Spread Icing On Real Thick To Level It Off.

In The Middle Of January, Place A Podium At The End Of Your Driveway. Have You Family Stand Watches At The Podium, Rotating At 4-Hour Intervals.