Reindeer Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why are sheep always in a field? Because they can't get out! Who gives my cat his Christmas presents? Santa Paws! Who gives my other cat his Christmas presents? Santa Claws! What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around while i go ahead! Whats the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs! What did mary say to santa during the storm? Look at that rain, dear! Where do plumbers buy there presents? Bath! Why is it best to park your car near the moon? Because there is a lot of space! What is the use of reindeer? It makes the garden grow sweetie! How many legs does rudolph have? Four? No, six. - he's got forelegs and two back legs! What game do six reindeer play in the back of a mini? Squash! Why did the reindeer take his nose apart? To see what made it run! What do you call a reindeer that has a number on its tail? Reg! Did you hear the story of the 3 reindeer? No. Oh deer, Oh deer, Oh deerWhy do reindeers have wrinkled ankles? Because they lace there boot too tight! more...

As you know, it is very important for Santa and his reindeer to
be very quiet when they deliver presents on Christmas Eve so
no one will know they are there. One Christmas Eve Santa Claus
landed on a rooftop and suddenly he heard a very loud, "Snort
sniff honk honk snort! coming from one of his reindeer.
Since he was in the sleigh behind them, he didn't know which one
it was. It happened again, only louder this time. "Snort sniff
honk honk snort!
Dogs in the neighborhood began to bark. "Shhh! Santa hissed.
"Please be quiet!
He went to work lifting the sack of toys out of the sleigh when
he heard it again, only a lot louder this time. "SNORT SNIFF
HONK HONK SNORT! Lights came on all over the neighborhood and
some people even stuck their heads out of their windows.
Santa was horrified. Jumping back into the sleigh, he drove
quickly back to the North Pole. He lined up all the more...

How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer, Olive?
Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names."
What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
"I don't like sprouts"!

'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat. The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.
The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
Momma in her teddy and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.
When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner, and momma went dry.
Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself.
The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.
With a fat little driver, half out of the sled, A sock in his ear and a bra on his head.
Sure as I'm speaking, he was high as a kite, And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.
Whoa S**thead, whoa A**hole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your more...

'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat. The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.Momma in her teddy and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner, and momma went dry.Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself.The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.With a fat little driver, half out of the sled, A sock in his ear and a bra on his head.Sure as I'm speaking, he was high as a kite, And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.Whoa S**thead, whoa A**hole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree, more...

Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.
I know. I know. I know that people say "It's the thought that counts, not the gift", but couldn't people think a little biger!
Santa Claus is a Jolly fellow! Imagine all that driving and still being able to say "Ho! Ho! Ho!
Father to three-year old: "No a reindeer is not a horse with TV antenna.
Every year, Christmas becomes less a birthday and more a Clearance Sale.
Christmas is in my heart twelve months a year and thanks to credit cards, it's on my Visa Card Statement twelve months a year also.
Some of these new toys are so creative and inventive. This year they have a Neurotic Doll. It's wound up already.
I bought my friend some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift-wrap counter and told them to wrap it, but in different paper, so he'd know when to stop unwrapping.
When I was young we were poor. We didn't have a Christmas tree, we had a Christmas stump.
When more...

New elf:"Hey there's a reindeer with a red nose. He must be Rudolph."
Santa:"No that's Prancer. He must of gotten into the ketchup again