Reindeer Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why are sheep always in a field? Because they can't get out!
Who gives my cat his Christmas presents? Santa Paws!
Who gives my other cat his Christmas presents? Santa Claws!
What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around while i go ahead!
Whats the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!
What did mary say to santa during the storm? Look at that rain, dear!
Where do plumbers buy there presents? Bath!
Why is it best to park your car near the moon? Because there is a lot of space!
What is the use of reindeer? It makes the garden grow sweetie!
How many legs does rudolph have? Four? No, six. - he's got forelegs and two back legs!
What game do six reindeer play in the back of a mini? Squash!
Why did the reindeer take his nose apart? To see what made it run!
What do you call a reindeer that has a number on its tail? Reg!
Did you hear the story of the 3 reindeer? No. Oh deer, Oh deer, Oh deer
Why do reindeers have more...

Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and it was shortly before Christmas when the FAA examiner arrived. In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order.
The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for the sled's enormous payload.
Finally, they were ready for the check ride. Santa got in, fastened his seat-belt and shoulder harness, and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.
"What's that for?" Santa asked.
The examiner winked and said, "Well, I'm not supposed to tell you this, but you're going to lose an engine during take-off."

IMMEDIATE DOWNSIZING MEASURES EMPLOYED The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring
decisions at the North Pole. Streamlining is due to the North Pole`s loss of dominance of this season`s gift distribution business. Home shopping channels, the Internet, and mail order catalogs have diminished Santa`s market share. He could not sit idly by and permit further erosion of the profit picture. The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the purchase of a late model Japanese sled for the CEO`s annual trip. Improved productivity from Dasher and Dancer--who will retrain at the Harvard Business
School--is anticipated. Reduction in reindeer will also lessen airborne environmental emissions for which the North Pole has received unfavorable press. I am pleased to inform you that Rudolph`s role will not be disturbed. more...

On the first day of the tenth month of the Islamic lunar calendar, Muslims celebrate the end of Ramadan, the month of fasting. This is one of two holidays celebrated throughout the Islamic world. Also known as Eid ul Fitr, Idu'l Fitar, Seker Bayram (Turkey), and Hari Raya Puasa (Southeast Asia). A DIETER'S CHRISTMAS
' Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips
were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips.
Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care
in hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.
While Mama in her my girdle and I in chin straps
had just settled down to sugar-borne naps.
When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash
tore open the icebox then threw up the sash.
The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow
sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.
When what to my wandering eyes should more...

Why are sheep always in a field? Because they can't get out ! Who gives my cat his Christmas presents? Santa Paws! Who gives my other cat his Christmas presents? Santa Claws! What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around while i go ahead! Whats the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs! What did mary say to santa during the storm? Look at that rain, dear! Where do plumbers buy there presents? Bath! Why is it best to park your car near the moon? Because there is a lot of space! What is the use of reindeer? It makes the garden grow sweetie! How many legs does rudolph have? Four? No, six. - he's got forelegs and two back legs! What game do six reindeer play in the back of a mini? Squash! Why did the reindeer take his nose apart? To see what made it run! What do you call a reindeer that has a number on its tail? Reg! Did you hear the story of the 3 reindeer? No. Oh deer, Oh deer, Oh deerWhy do reindeers have wrinkled ankles? Because they lace there boot too tight! more...

Christmas was over. Santa and his reindeer finally had a chance to
rest. And they deserved it. They had done a good job.
Rudolph had a chance to do something he had wanted to do for a
long time. He made an appointment with a plastic surgeon because
he was so sensitive about his looks.
However, it wasn't his glowing proboscis that he wanted changed.
He was proud of his nose and the help he had given Santa because
of it. No, he was sensitive about his long ears which were much
more prominent than the ears of the average reindeer, or bear, for
that matter.
So one week after Christmas, he let the good doctor do the
reconstructive surgical procedure, and since that time, January
1st has been celebrated as... New Ears Day.

GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER
by Irish Rovers (1986?)
Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd left her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.
When they found her Christmas mornin',
At the scene of the attack.
There were hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.
Grandma go run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
Now were all so proud of Grandpa,
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' football,
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle.
It's not Christmas without Grandma.
All the family's more...