Relations Jokes / Recent Jokes
Most Middle Eastern countries recognise the following Islamic law: "After having sexual relations with a lamb, it is a mortal sin to eat its flesh."
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is more...
Cindy Lou Edleman Performs Quality Sexual Favors
Your Mother and Father Are of the Same Genetic Background
Mexicans Smell Vaguely of Jalapenos
Last Night You Enjoyed Carnal Pleasures With Your Sister
Your Intelligence Quota is Dubious at Best
For a Moderate Fee I Believe Your Mother Would Fellate Me
You Have Had Intimate Relations With a Person of African Descent and You Shall Never Know the Love of a Caucasian Again.
You Look Upon Your Dog With Lust
Methinks You Have the Odor of Fecal Matter Upon You
I Partook in Intercourse with Your Sister's Derriere
The Acne on Your Face Spreads Throughout Your Nether Regions
The People of France Know Not the Joys of Deodorant
A Hamster is Superior in Intelligence to Your Mother
For An Evening of Sordid Delights Involving Both Sadism and Masochism, Please Ring Mary at 212.555.5555
Ryan Beaugarde is Inadequate in the Ways of Oral Enjoyment
The Heavy Metal Rock Band Entitled Motley Crue is more...
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American
girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along
very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and
asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Lawyer: "Have you any grounds?"
Polish Man: "Yes, an acre and half and nice little home."
Lawyer: "No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
Polish Man: "It made of concrete."
Lawyer: "I don't think you understand. Does either of you
have a real grudge?"
Polish Man: "No, we have carport, and not need one."
Lawyer: "I mean. What are your relations like?"
Polish Man: "All my relations still in Poland."
Lawyer: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
Polish Man: "We have more...
Editor's Note: It's dry parody. You gotta really like sci-fi to enjoy this one...
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Experiment 8 Postflight Summary
NASA publication 14-307-1792
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ABSTRACT
The purpose of this experiment was to prepare for the expected participation in long-term space based research by husband-wife teams once the US space station is in place. To this end, the investigators explored a number of possible approaches to continued marital relations in the zero-G orbital environment provided by the XXXXXX shuttle mission.
Our primary conclusion is that satisfactory marital relations are within the realm of possibility in zero-G, but that many couples would have difficulty getting used to the approaches we found to be most satisfactory.
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INTRODUCTION
The more...
The Mayor of Vidor has decided not to take part in a town hall meeting on race relations CNN plans to broadcast across the nation.
It is the outgrowth of a CNN special report last week on race relations in America. The report included a story about Vidor. A technical problem at the local Time Warner Cable office prevented all but a few seconds of the story from airing in Beaumont and Vidor. The story was broadcast one night later. Vidor Mayor Joe Hopkins and several other people complained that the story was based on decades-old information and reinforced racial stereotypes about Vidor.
" After a lot of prayer and consideration, I don't think it's in the best interest of anyone involved that I participate," Hopkins told KFDM News Monday afternoon. "I will decline the invitation from CNN to take part in the town hall meeting. I left a voice message with the senior producer on site."
"Besides," added the mayor, "It will be a more...