Relations Jokes / Recent Jokes
King Juan Carlos hired a public relations firmn to find out how the Spanish people felt about him. They informed him that he had 75% approval in the mountainous areas but only 50% approval elsewhere The
conclusion was that the reign in Spain was shaky on the plain.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman." - President Bill Clinton, 26 Jan. 1998
TRANSLATION (Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, 10th Ed., ©1993):
sexual relations - n pl (1950): coitus.
coitus - n [L, fr. coire] (1855): physical union of male and female genitalia accompanied by rhythmic movements usu. leading to the ejaculation of semen from the penis into the female reproductive tract; also: intercourse.
CONCLUSION
Bill Clinton hasn't denied having oral sex with "that woman."
Maude and Clarence, an elderly couple, were in the kitchen having lunch when Clarence asked, "Maude, whatever happened to our sexual relations?"
After a long, thoughtful silence, Maude replied, "You know, Clarence, I'm not sure. I don't even think we received a Christmas card from them last year."
Promises to improve foreign relations with Hawaii.Runs a series of attack ads against Martin Sheen's character on "The West Wing."His #1 choice to work on his cabinet is 'That Bob Vila guy.'Outstanding record as Governor of Rhode Island nullified by the fact that no one really cares.Anybody mentions Washington, he asks, "The state or the DC thingie?"At the debates, answers every question with a snarled, "You wanna wrestle?!?"Vows to put an end to the war in Pokemon and free the Pikachu refugees once and for all.Says the Pledge of Allegiance as quickly as possible, then shouts, "I win!"On the very first question of the debate, he attempts to use a Lifeline.
What do you call Arab public relations?A: An oxymoron.
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.The lawyer said that getting a divorce could depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.I mean, what are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland.Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.What makes you think that?
I got proof.What kind of proof?
She going to more...
In a brilliant piece of public relations, Donald Trump gave hard-partying Miss America a chance to retain her title.
In another brilliant public relations coup, Trump also announced he will be changing the name of the Miss America pageant to Girls Gone Wild.
Miss America Tara Connor demonstrates how she convinced Trump to give her another chance