Relatives Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day there was a family driving in the car to Michigan to visit their relatives. They were looking for the street they had to turn on to get to their relatives house. They accedently turned on the wrong street so they had to pull in a driveway and turn around. When they pulled into the driveway the girl asked her mother "Why dont these people have electricity?" Very confused the mother said, "Wut are u talking about?" The girl quickly replied, "Well, the sign back there said NO OUTLET!"
A family went to a hospital, where one of their relatives would be having a brain transplant. One of the relatives asked, "What will the cost of a new brain be?" The doctor replied, "A female brain costs $25,000 and a male brain costs $50,000." The men smirked, but one of the females asked, "Why is that, doctor?" "Well," the doctor replied," the female brain is less because it has been used."
After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were: His obnoxious brother.............................. Please Gogh His dizzy aunt..................................... Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes.......................... Gotta Gogh The constipated uncle.............................. Cant Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store....... Stopn Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia..................... U Gogh The brother who bleached his clothes white.......... Hue Gogh The cousin from Illinois............................ Chica Gogh His magician uncle.................................. Wherediddy Gogh His Italian uncle....................................... Day Gogh His Mexican cousin.................................. Amee Gogh The Mexican cousin's American half brother.......... Grin Gogh The nephew who drove a stage coach................. Wellsfar Gogh The ballroom dancing more...
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I was born intelligent
-education ruined me.
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Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?
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If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
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Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
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Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
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If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if more...
Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.
After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were:
His obnoxious brother...................Please Gogh
His dizzy aunt...................................Verti Gogh
The brother who ate prunes..........Gotta Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store.....Stopn Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia........U Gogh
The brother who bleached his clothes white........Hue Gogh
The cousin from Illinois.................Chica Gogh
His magician uncle................Wherediddy Gogh
His Mexican cousin...............Amee Gogh
The Mexican cousin's American half brother.....Grin Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach......Wellsfar Gogh
The constipated uncle.................Cant Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt.........Tan Gogh
The bird lover uncle.................Flamin Gogh
His nephew psychoanalyst.........E Gogh
The fruit loving more...
A patient needed a brain transplant and the doctor told the family,' 'Brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.''
' 'Well, how much does a brain cost?'' asked the relatives.
' 'For a male brain, $500, 000. For a female brain, $200, 000,'' replied the doctor.
Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. But the patient's daughter was unsatisfied and asked,' 'Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?''
' 'Standard pricing practice,'' said the doctor.' 'Women's brains have to be marked down because they've actually been used.''