Remote Jokes / Recent Jokes

Can any of you relate to these "addiction" quips? I sure can :)
The last time you looked at the clock it was 11:30pm, and in what seems like only a few seconds later, your little sister runs past you to catch her 7am school bus.
The remote to the T.V. is missing...and you don't even care.
You begin to wonder how your ISP can call 400 hours per month "unlimited!"
You ask a plumber if he could replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
The last girl you picked up was a 800x66 jpeg.
You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP...because you never log off!
Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed with us."
You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.
You scan restroom stall for hot HTML addresses.
You have comandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call more...

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished topurchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for atelevision set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked." No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so Ifigured this was the most evil thing I could do to him."

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?"
I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back into itself and for the life of them could not understand why their computer would not turn on.
"Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"
"A little. What's wrong?"
"Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened."
"How did you load the sheet?"
"It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else to read it by accident. So I folded it so only the recipient could open it and read it."
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked.
"I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote control door unlocker. Now I can't get into more...

Two aliens landed in the remote countryside and went walking from the flying saucer along a narrow lane. The first thing they saw was a red pillar box. `Take us to your leader,' said the first alien. `Don't waste time talking to him. Can't you see he's only a child?' said the second alien.