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Hotel LettersThe following letters were taken from an actual incident between aLondon hotel and one of its guests. The hotel submitted the letters to the London SundayTimes for their humor column....Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little barsof soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the sixunopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in theshower soap dish. They are in my way.Thank you,
S. BermanDear Room 635, I am not your regular maid. She will be backtomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dishas you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of yourKleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I lefttoday which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this issatisfactory.Kathy,
Relief MaidDear Maid, I hope you are my regular maid. more...
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. ” The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife. ”
Start with a cage containing five apes.
In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water.
After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result - all the apes are sprayed with cold water. This continues through several more attempts. Pretty soon, when another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes all try to prevent it.
Now, turn off the cold water. Remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous more...
MICROSOFT TV DINNER PRODUCT INSERT
Unknown
You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you
agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV
dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner
(which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft's
rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your
dinner and are encouraged to tell them how good it is.
If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the
oven. Set the oven using these keystrokes:
Then enter:
|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme>.
If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start.
The oven will set itself and cook the dinner.
Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which
case your oven must be restarted. This is a simple
procedure. Remove the dinner from the oven and enter
. This process
may have to be repeated. Try unplugging the microwave and
then doing a cold reboot. If this more...
A blonde took an old picture of her deceased husband, wearing a hat, to a photographer and asked if he would be able to remove the hat from the picture.
After convincing her he could easily do that, he asked her which side of his head her husband parted his hair on.
"Oh, I really can't remember," the blonde replied, "but you'll be able to see that for yourself once you remove his hat."
After 3 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been
promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the
Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR
Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings,
He told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and
asked him to sit down saying; My friend, you have not worked here for even
one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366
Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours
Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i. e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i. e. 1/3(one more...