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Two [ethnics], Tom and Jack, were sitting in a bar one day, when two
fishermen walked in with 2 huge trout, one of the [ethnics] asked where the
guys got the fish, and the fishermen told the [ethnics] that they go down to the
bridge, one guy would hold the other by the ankles until a fish was
caught.
The [ethnics] figured that they could to that.
After holding Tom for about 20 minutes, Jack asked Tom if he had anything,
and the reply was "no." About 20 more minutes passes, so Jack asked again, and
again the reply was "no." Finally, Tom yelled "Pull me up! Pull me up!!"
Jack exclaimed "Ya got one?" Tom said, "No! a train is coming!"

Once a morron was taking four dogs for walking. a man comes to him and ask "what are the names of our dogs?". sardarji reply's "surjit singh, santa singh, banta singh, gabar singh." he reply's. so the man asks "what is your name?"so the morron replys "my name is tommy".

there were 3 girls. they each went to a boys house for a night. the next day they met thier dad who had b een outside the houses spying. he had heard crying, laughing and nothing. he asked why he heard crying and had the reply "when a big train goes in a small tunnel it hurts." then he asked why he heard laughing and had the reply "when a small train goes in a big tunnel it tickles." then he asked why he heard nothing and the girl replied "you always tell me never to with my mouth full."

St. Peter has a day-off from his duties at the gates to Heaven and Jesus is standing in for him. Whilst' booking-in' the new arrivals Jesus notices an old man in the queue who seems familiar. When this man gets to the front of the queue Jesus asks him his name." Joseph" is the reply, which makes Jesus more inquisitive." Occupation?" is the next question, the reply being "Carpenter". Jesus is now getting quite excited. In quite a state Jesus asks "Did you have a little boy?", the answer is "yes"." Did he have holes in his wrists and ankles?" asks Jesus, "Yes" comes the reply. Jesus looks at the old man in front of him and with a tear in his eye shouts "FATHER, FATHER"?! The old man looks puzzled and after a moment replies.... "Pinnochio?"

Voice: Hello. We need twelve vehicles in the parade square immediately. Two of them must be limousines.

Reply: What are the limousines for? To haul those fat-slob generals around in, I bet.

Voice: Soldier, do you know who this is speaking?

Reply: No, I don't.

Voice: This is General Wilson.

Reply: Do you know who this is speaking, sir?

Voice: No, I don't.

Reply: See ya' round, fatso!

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"
The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car.
As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."
The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.
Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.
The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."
The man says, "All right, all right. I'm *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become more...

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in' 62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in' 62, too!" About that time in comes more...