Report Jokes / Recent Jokes
One young man went for an IAS Interview.
"When did India get independence? " He was asked.
"The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied.
"Who was responsible for our independence? "
"There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one, it will be a injustice to another. " He replied.
"Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?"
"Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report" He replied.
The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others, since they were planning to ask the same questions.
When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but one persistent Santa would not leave more...
A Maintenance Battalion in Germany had just received a brand new Executive Officer, an Armor Major. The Major proceeded to issue new SOP directives (Standard Operating Procedures) that WOULD be followed under all circumstances. One of these directives was that NO ONE over the rank of Staff Sergeant would drive their own vehicle, that was what the lower enlisted were for. One morning, the Master Sergeant in charge of the S-2 shop of the battalion had an intel report that was due at Division Headquarters within the hour, and his clerk, a PFC, was off that morning because of duty the night before. The Sergeant felt that he had no choice, the report HAD to get to Division; so he got into his Jeep and started to Division Headquarters. As he got to the gate, the XO stopped him. In a very sarcastic voice he said, "Aren't we paying our drivers a lot these days?" The NCO, without missing a beat re plied, "Not at all, Sir, when you consider what we are paying gate guards."
Computer Problem Report Form1. Describe your problem: ________________________________________________________________2. Now, describe the problemaccurately: ________________________________________________________________3. Speculate wildly about the causeof the problem: ________________________________________________________________4. Problem Severity: A. Minor __ B. Minor __ C. Minor __ D. Trivial __5. Nature of the problem: A. Locked Up __ B. Frozen __ C. Hung __ D. Strange Smell __6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes __ No __7. Is it turned on? Yes __ No __8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes __ No __9. Have you made it worse? Yes __10. Have you had a friend who knowsall about computers. Try to fix itfor you? Yes __ No __11. Did they make it even worse? Yes __12. Have you read the manual? Yes __ No __13. Are you sure you've read the manual? Maybe __ No __14. Are you absolutely you'veread the manual? No __15. If you read the manual, do you thinkyou understood it? Yes __ No more...
Computer Problem Report Form 1. Describe your problem: ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 2. Now, describe the problem accurately: ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem: ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 4. Problem Severity: A. Minor__ B. Minor__ C. Minor__ D. Trivial__ 5. Nature of the problem: A. Locked Up__ B. Frozen__ C. Hung__ D. Strange Smell__ 6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__ 7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__ 8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__ 9. Have you made it worse? Yes__ 10. Have you had "a friend" who "Knows all about computers" try to fix it for you? Yes__ No__ 11. Did they make it even worse? Yes__ 12. more...
Top Ten Signs That It's Going to be a Bad Shift
10. The previous shift tells you, "Things have been quiet."
9. You walk onto the floor and someone from the previous shift says, "Is it that time already?"
8. You run into the pharmacist at the elevator, he hands you a case of Prozac and says, "Here, this is for your floor."
7. Your phone rings 4 hours before your shift and they beg you to come in early.
6. After giving report, the nurse yells from the elevator, "Oh, by the way, they're' pleasantly confused'."
5. While driving to work, every radio station is playing "Knockin' on Heaven's Door".
4. As soon as you walk in, someone hands you scrubs and says, "Here, you'd better put these on."
3. You come in and find one of the previous shift nurses openly weeping at the nurse's station.
2. The nurse about to give you report looks up from her notes and asks, "How many R's in more...
The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me."
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander."
Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?"
"Yes, sir," answered the Sarge.
A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more more...
Silvia: Dad, Can You Write In The Dark? Father: I Think So. What Do You Want Me To Write? Silvia: Your Name On This Report Card.
Lucky Charms^
What Is Harry Potter's Favourite Cereal?
Ans. Lucky Charms.