Republic Jokes / Recent Jokes
Chandrika: I considered you as a freedom fighter, the moment I read,
“HARD HARD ONE IS THE BIG BIG GOOD ONE(to be
circulated)” Written by you to the infolanka joke page.
Chandrika: Please show me how to bring a political change in Sri Lanka.
ULTRA MICROS: Your Excellency, its this New Constitution.
Chandrika: Will People Support Me.
ULTRA MICROS: Its Foolishness if they don’t do so.
ULTRA MICROS: Your Excellency, good luck to you.
ULTRA MICRO CONSTITUTION OF THE DEMOCRATIC SOCIALIST REPUBLIC OF SRI LANKA.
Section 1
Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka is an unitary
State Which Is Comprised of 24 Key Administrative District
Councils and There Sub Councils.
Section 2
All Laws relating to Citizenship, Matrimony, Inheritance and
Succession shall be governed by The General Law.
Section 3
English, Sinhala and Tamil shall be Official Languages.
Section 4
There shall be The more...
A little old Indian woman went into Republic National Bank with a sack full of money. She plopped it onto the desk of the Bank president as she had wrangled her way into his office. He was an Indian man."Where did you get money like this?" he asked her."Well, you see." She answered him. "I make bets.""Bets?" He wanted to know."Yes." She replied. "For instance, I'll bet you 25,000. you are not brown all over. I bet that under your shorts you are white.""The Indian president of the Bank told her, "Well, I will take that bet." "I am brown all over.""Okay," the wily old lady agreed. "However, tomorrow when we close the bet, I want my attorney with me. He is Indian too."Okay! Okay." The president of the bank was agreeable. When he went home though he double checked to see if he was brown all over. After all 25,000. was at stake.The next day when the little old Indian lady came in more...
A joke from the former republic of Czechoslovakia is a dialogue between an official assigned to gauge public opinion and a peasant. The official made his questionnaire as simple as possible for the rustic mind:' Now, Jan, if you were asked to make three wishes for your country, what would they be?'
'First, I would wish the People's Liberation Army of the People's Republic of Red China to occupy Czechoslovakia.'
The official refused to be put out of countenance.' And what would be your second wish?
'My second wish would be that the People's Liberation Army of the People's Republic of Red China should occupy Czechoslovakia.'
'Okay, okay! That's the same wish twice. What would be your third wish?'
'My third wish would be that the People's Liberation Army of the People's Republic of Red China should occupy Czechoslovakia.'
'Now, aren't you being a little perverse. Why would you wish your country to be invaded and occupied three times by a foreign more...
What type of Asian are you?
Girls, take this test to find out
Guys, or scroll down. GIRLS 1. On a typical Friday night, you're most likely to be seen at: A) pool hall
B) the mall
C) at home, getting an early start on homework
D) cafe shop
E) your friend's house, having a sleepover 2. Your normal everyday wear is: A) tight shirts, spaghetti straps, baggy jeans, and extra dark lipstick
B) lots and lots of makeup - to impress the guys of course
C) thick glasses, long sun dresses, penny loafers, or sandals
D) high pumps, expensive designer clothes and tons of jewelry
E) college or Mickey Mouse sweatshirts with blue jeans 3. You usually give out your number when: A) almost never, guys get scared off by your mean looks
B) any foine guy happens to ask for it
C) never - you're not supposed to talk to guys
D) there's money floating around him
E) any white guy asks for it 4. When you go to the mall, you: A) give menacing more...
ULTRA MICRO CONSTITUTION OF THE DEMOCRATIC SOCIALIST REPUBLIC OF SRI LANKA
Section 1
Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka is an unitary
State Which Is Comprised of 24 Key Administrative District
Councils and their Sub Councils.
Section 2
All Laws relating to Citizenship, Matrimony, Inheritance and
Succession shall be governed by The General Law.
Section 3
English, Sinhala and Tamil shall be Official Languages.
Section 4
There shall be The Freedom of Speech, Expression and
Publication and The Freedom of Worship.
Section 5
All Levels of Health, Education and Industry are open to
Private Sector Investors.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Regards,
ULTRA MICROS
The United States of America apologizes to the People's Republic of China for allowing our slow, lumbering reconnaissance plane to be hit by your poorly trained, hot-dogging fighter pilot, while flying in international airspace.
We're sorry we have to fly surveillance missions to monitor a country that has nuclear missiles pointed at us.
We're sorry your pilot didn't follow international standards of fighter intercept protocol.
We're sorry his aircraft recognition skills were so poor he didn't realize the EP-3 aircraft was propeller driven and flew his aircraft through its propeller arc, destroying his aircraft and nearly killing 24 American crewmen.
We're sorry your fighter pilot's survival training and equipment was so inadequate that he couldn't survive until your poorly trained and equipped navy could find him (they turned down our offer for search and rescue assistance).
We're sorry you violated international law and arrested the crewmen of an aircraft that more...