Request Jokes / Recent Jokes

Seeking a raise I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
*I do physical labour
*I work at great depths
*I work head first
*I do not get RDO's, weekends off or public holidays
*I work in a damp environment
*I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
*I work in high temperatures
*My work exposes me to contagious diseases Response from People & Quality: After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
*You do not work 8 hours straight
*You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
*You do not always follow the order of the management team
*You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
*You take a lot of non-rostered breaks
*You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
*You leave the workplace rather messy at the more...

A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and they are brought to the gas chamber. The warden asks the cowboy if he has a last request, to which the cowboy replies, "Ah shore do, wardn. Ahd be mighty grateful ifn yood play Achy Breaky Heart fur me bahfore ah hafta go.""Sure enough, cowboy, we can do that," says the warden. He turns to the biker, "And you, biker, whats your last request?""That you kill me first."

Two men who were sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led to the room where they would meet their maker.
The priest gave the last rites, the Warden made a formal speech and a final prayer had been said.
The Warden then turned to the first man and solemnly asked, "Do you have a last request, son?"
"Yes sir, I do," he replied. "I've always loved dance music. Would you please play The Macarena for me one last time?"
"Definitely," replied the Warden. He then turned to the second man and asked, "What about you, son? What is your final request?"
"Please, kill me first!" he replied.

Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given the last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The Warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?" To which the man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play The Macarena for me one last time?"
"Certainly," replied the warden. He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?"
"Please," said the condemned man, "kill me first."

Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day, were led down to the room in which they would their maker. The priest had given them last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants.

The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?" To which the man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play the Macarena for me one last time?" "Certainly," replied the warden.

He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?" "Please," said the condemned man, "kill me first."

Q: How many MIS guys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: MIS has received your request concerning your hardware problem, and has assigned your request Service Number 39712. Please use this number for any future reference to this light bulb issue. As soon as a technician becomes available, you will be contacted.

Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given the last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The Warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?" To which the man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play The Macarena for me one last time?" "Certainly," replied the warden. He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?" "Please," said the condemned man, "kill me first."