Research Jokes / Recent Jokes

A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town`s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500, 000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn`t you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um... no."

"--or that mybrother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted,

"--or that my sister`s husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer`s voice rising in indignation, more...

The staff at a local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer.
The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. ''Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?''
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, ''First, did your
research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has
medical bills that are several times her annual income?''
Embarrassed, the United Way representative mumbled, ''Um... No.''
''Or,'' the lawyer continued, ''that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?''
The stricken United Way representative began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted when the lawyer added, ''Or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident?'' the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, more...

The staff at a local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute and said, "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, Did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the United Way representative mumbled, "Um... No."
"Or," the lawyer continued, "that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The stricken United Way representative began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted when the lawyer added, "Or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," more...

The staff at a local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer.
The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the United Way representative mumbled, "Um... No."
"Or," the lawyer continued, "that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The stricken United Way representative began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted when the lawyer added, "Or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident?" the more...

The staff at a local United Way office realized the town's most successful lawyer had never made a donation, so the person in charge of contributions called him in an attempt to persuade him to contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you do not give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some small way?" asked the representative.
The lawyer thought this over for a very brief moment and said, "Did your research happen to show that my mother is dying after a lengthy illness, and that she has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Feeling embarrassed, the representative muttered, "Umm... No."
"And, did your research show," continued the lawyer, "that my brother, a disabled veteran, is not only blind, but is confined to a wheelchair?"
Feeling even more embarrassed, the representative began to stammer an apology but was more...

The book Dynamic Programming by Richard Bellman is an important, pioneering work in which a group of problems is collected together at the end of some chapters under the heading "Exercises and Research Problems," with extremely trivial questions appearing in the midst of deep, unsolved problems. It is rumored that someone once asked Dr. Bellman how to tell the exercises apart from the research problems, and he replied: "If you can solve it, it is an exercise; otherwise it's a research problem."

One young man went for an ias interview.
When did india get independence? he was asked. the efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947 he replied. who was responsible for our independence? there were so many. Whom to mention?. if i name one it will be a injustice to another. he replied. is corruption the number one enemy in our country? Some research is going on the subject and i can answer with certainly only after seeing the report he replied.

The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful
Answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others, since they

Were planning to ask the same questions. When he went out naturally
Others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but
One persistent sardar would not leave him.

At least tell me the answers he pleaded, and our friend obliged. Then

It was the turn of this sardar. When he went inside, since his more...