Restaurant Jokes / Recent Jokes

The irate diner raised his hand to catch the attention of a passing waiter.
"Excuse me," said the man, "but how long have you been working here?"
"About a year," replied the waiter.
"In that case," continued the diner, "it couldn't have been you that took my order."

Dining at Pattie's Pie Parlor, Mr. DeMille called Pattie over.
"Listen," he said, "this peach torte is terrible." "But sir," Pattie answered back, "it's our specialty! We've been serving this torte for years.|| "In that case," Mr. DeMille replied, "let n have something you cooked more recently."

An elderly couple were having dinner at another couple's house and after their meal, the wives left the table to go to the kitchen.
The two elderly men were talking, and one says: "Last night we went out to a fabulous new restaurant that I'd highly recommend."
The other man says: "What's the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thinks long and hard with a furrowed brow, finally saying: "Ah, what is the name of that red flower you give to someone you love?"
His friend replies: "A carnation?" "No, no. The other one," the man says.
His friend suggest "The poppy?"
"No, no, no" growls the man.
"You know - the one that is red and has thorns."
His friend says: "Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes! Thank you!" the first man says. He then turns toward the kitchen and yells: "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

Then there was the diner who collared the waiter and complained that his meal wasn't fit for a pig.
"I'm so sorry," replied the waiter,' Til go back and bring you one that is."

A guy in a restaurant orders chicken noodle soup. He starts to eat the soup and chokes on a hair in the soup. After gagging for a minute, he calls the waitress. "I'm not paying for this soup. There was a hair in it."
The waitress and customer get into a bit of an argument over the problem. The guy ends up storming out of the restaurant without paying. The waitress sees the guy go across the street to a house of ill repute. The waitress's shift is over in about 15 minutes. She hurries over to the hooker house and finds out where the guy is.
The waitress crashes into the room where the guy and lady of the evening are engaging. As she walks in, the waitress sees the guy with his face in the hooker's business area. The waitress, seeing this, says, "You wouldn't pay for the chicken noodle soup because you found hair in it. Now look where your face is."
The guy, upon pulling his face out of the muff, turns to the waitress and says, "And if I find a more...

A couple of senior couples were strolling along, wives in front, husbands in back chatting. Bernie turns to Marv and says,"Ya know, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Great prices, too."
Marv smiles and says, "Well, we like to eat out too. So what was the name of this fine new eatery?"
Bernie says, "You're going to have to help me out here a little. What's the name of that pretty flower, smells sweet, often red, grows on a thorny bush?"
Marv grins again, "Well now, Bernie, sounds like a rose to me..."
"Yes, yes, that's it!" cries Bernie, then he calls ahead to his wife...
"Rose! Rose, honey, what was the name of that little restaurant we ate at last night?"

I went into a Chinese restaurant and said to the waiter "Do you do take away?" He said, "Yes, 6 from 10 leaves 4."