Rested Jokes / Recent Jokes
The last fight was my fault.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said,' 'Dust!''
In the beginning, God created Earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested.
Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
My wife and I are inseparable.
In fact, last week it took four state troopers to separate us.
What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
About 5 drinks.
A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman and said,
''I haven't eaten anything in four days.''
She looked at him and said,
''I wish I had your willpower.''
Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two mothers-in-law.
A man inserted an ad in the classified:' 'Wife wanted.''
Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:' 'You can have mine.''
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday
is to forget it once.
First guy (proudly):' 'My wife's an more...
1. The last fight we had was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
2. In the beginning God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then neither God nor man has rested.
3. My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog.
4. Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mother-in-laws.
5. Young son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
6. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
7. How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
8. If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
9. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was more...
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
How many men does it take to open a can of beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer the sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a male chauvinist more...
In the beginning, God created Earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested.
Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog.
Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.
A man inserted an ad in the classified: "Wife wanted." Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
If you want your more...
In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.