Restroom Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three Engineers and three Managers are going to a conference and had to travel by train to get there. At the station, the three Managers bought their three tickets and watched as the three Engineers bought only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked a Manager. "Just watch and you'll see," answered an Engineer. They all board the train and the Managers took their seats and watched as all three Engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. The train departed and shortly afterward, the conductor came around collecting tickets. He knocked on the restroom door and said, "Ticket, please." The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took it and moved on. The Managers saw all this and agreed it is quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Managers decide to copy the Engineers on the return trip and save some money (expense reports). When they got to more...

TO: All Employees
From: Management
Re: Restroom Policy
In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective Feb. 25, 1995 a Restroom Policy will be established to provide a consistant method of accounting for each employee's restroom time and ensuring equal treatment of all employees.
Under this policy, a "Restroom Trip Bank" will be established for each employee. The first day of each month, employees will be given a Restroom Trip Credit of 20 points. RTC can be accumulated from month to month.
Shortly, the entrances to all the restrooms will begin being equipped with personnel identification stations and computer linked voice print recognition. During the next two (2) weeks, each employee must provide two copies of voice prints (one normal and one under stress) management by Feb. 10,1995. The voice print recognition stations will be operational, but not restrictive, for the month of Feb. Employees more...

An Army guy and a Navy guy found themselves in a public restroom.
As the Army guy was walking out, the Navy guy said, while
washing his hands,
"In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands before leaving the
restroom." Then the Army guy replied,
"Well, in the Army, they teach us not to pee on our hands!"

In a restroom at IBM's Watson Center, a supervisor had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it - "THINK!"
The next day, when he went to the restroom, he looked at the sign and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read - "THOAP!"

In a restroom at IBM's Watson Center, a supervisor had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it - "THINK!"The next day, when he went to the restroom, he looked at the sign and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read - "THOAP!"

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, Relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.

YOUR OWN DEATH: This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty more...

TO: All EmployeesFrom: ManagementRe: Restroom PolicyIn the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective Feb. 25, 1995 a Restroom Policy will be established to provide a consistant method of accounting for each employee's restroom time and ensuring equal treatment of all employees.Under this policy, a "Restroom Trip Bank" will be established for each employee. The first day of each month, employees will be given a Restroom Trip Credit of 20 points. RTC can be accumulated from month to month.Shortly, the entrances to all the restrooms will begin being equipped with personnel identification stations and computer linked voice print recognition. During the next two (2) weeks, each employee must provide two copies of voice prints (one normal and one under stress) management by Feb. 10,1995. The voice print recognition stations will be operational, but not restrictive, for the month of Feb. Employees should aquaint themselves more...