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This is my first post to HUMOR mailing list. Hope you enjoy
A cowboy was captured by some Indians, and, upon his capture, the chief of the tribe explained the rules: "You have 3 days before you are killed. Each day you get one wish, but, on the third day you will die."
After this proclamation of promise, the chief asks the cowboy his first desire, but the cowboy says he must talk to his horse first. The chief grants the request, and the cowboy whispers into the horse's ear and sends him galloping off.
At sunset, the trusty steed returns with a voluptuous, naked brunette. The cowboy helps the woman from the horse's back, takes her into his wigwam and makes love to her all night long.
On the second day, the chief says to the cowboy, "This is second day. What is second wish?" The cowboy, once again, requests a conference with his horse, and, once again, the horse rides off from the Indian camp. At sunset, the animal returns with a voluptuous, naked more...

As soon as he has paid for them, he starts laughing and walks out. The next day, the same performance, with the man walking out laughing fit to bust. The chemist thinks this odd and asks his assistant, that if the man returns, to follow him. Sure enough, he comes into the store the next day, repeating his actions once more. The assistant duly follows. Half an hour later, he returns. "So did you follow him?" ask the chemist. "I did", replied the assistant. "And...where did he go?" "Over to your house."

An office manager was sent three secretaries, equally qualified, to fill one vacancy. "Well," thought the manager, "I'll give them an honesty test to determine which secretary to keep."
To this end, he gave each secretary a money bag to take and bank telling them that there was $50 in the bag. (In fact, he had placed $100 in each bag; thus the honesty test.)
The first secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50 and returns the extra $50 to the manager.
The second secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks the full $100, and returns with a deposit slip as proof.
The third secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50, goes to the local TAB and uses the $50 to win $300, then returns, explains to the manager and gives him the all the money.
Question: Which secretary does the manager select to retain?
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Answer: Well, DUH!... The one more...

A man settles into his seat on the plane, when another man sits down and puts his black Labrador Retriever in the seat next to him. The first man looks very quizzically at the dog and asks why he is allowed on the plane. The second man explains that he is a DEA agent and that the dog is a "sniffing dog". "His name is Sniffer, and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work."
Once the plane has taken off and levels out, the agent says, "Watch this." He tells Sniffer to "search". Sniffer jumps down, walks along the aisle, and finally sits very purposefully next to a woman for a several seconds. Sniffer then returns to its seat and puts one paw on the agent's arm. The agent says, "Good boy", and turns to the man and says, "That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land."
"Say, that's pretty more...

President Bush`s tax returns are a little different. He claimed the Christian Right as dependents, he declared the 2000 election as a gift, and he tried to write off all the mileage he got from 9/11

A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for a pack of
condoms and a jar of KY Jelly. As soon as he has
paid for them, he starts laughing and walks out.

The next day, the same performance, with the man
walking out laughing, fit to bust. The pharmacist
thinks this odd and asks his assistant, if the man
returns, to follow him.

Sure enough, he comes into the store the next day,
repeating his actions once more. The assistant duly
follows. Half an hour later, he returns.

"So did you follow him?"
"I did."
"And... where did he go?"
"Over to your house..."

A man is sitting in a plane which is about to takeoff when another man with a dog occupies the empty seats alongside.

The dog is sat in the middle, and the first man is looking quizzically at the dog when the second man explains that they work for the airline.

The airline rep said "Don't mind Rover, he is a sniffer dog, the best there is, I'll show you once we get airborne and I set him to work."

The plane takes off and levels out when the handler says to the first man, "Watch this." He tells the dog "Rover, search."

The dog jumps down, walks along the aisle and sits next to a woman for a few seconds. It then returns to its seat and puts one paw on the handler's arm. He says "Good boy."

He turns to the first man and says, "That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of this, and the seat number, for the police who will apprehend her on more...