Reveal Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Doctor dies and goes to hell. The devil greets him and tells him that since he was doctor, and did some good that he could choose his eternity. The devil opens the first door, there are doctors hanging from their ankles being whipped by demons. "Oh my God, I don't want that", the doctor replies.

The devil opens a second door to reveal doctors on fire being chased by huge beasts. "That one is even worse!" says the doctor, getting more nervous.

The devil opens a third door to reveal doctors in lounge chairs being served tropical drinks by gorgeous, scantily clad nurses."Sign me up for that eternity!" the doctor states. The devil then slams that door and says,"You can't go there, you weren't supposed to see that." The doctor states why can't I go there? The devil replies, "Well.... that's nurse hell."

Micro was a real-time operator and dedicated multi-user. His broad-band
protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output
devices, even if it meant time-sharing.
One evening he arrived home just as the Sun was crashing, and had parked his
Motorola 68040 in the main drive (he had missed the 5100 bus that morning),
when he noticed an elegant piece of liveware admiring the daisy wheels in
his garden. He thought to himself, "She looks user-friendly. I'll see if
she'd like an update tonight."
Mini was her name, and she was delightfully engineered with eyes like COBOL
and a PR1ME mainframe architecture that set Micro's peripherals networking
all over the place.
He browsed over to her casually, admiring the power of her twin, 32-bit
floating point processors and enquired "How are you, Honeywell?". "Yes, I
am well", she responded, batting her optical fibers engagingly and more...

How To Be A Cultist:

Recently, the Society For Evil Overlords has noticed a regrettable
decline in the availability and quality of fanatical henchmen, evil
priests, and willing sacrificial victims. We wish to correct this
growing problem by submitting the following general guidelines for
Cultists.

1. Pick one faith and stay with it. Dilettantism is the mark of
the amateur.

2. Avoid needless embarrassment. Practice the correct
pronunciation of your deity+s name in the privacy of your own room
before chanting it in public. Flash cards are often helpful.

3. Never invoke anything bigger than your head.

4. Avoid all cabalistic jewelry over ten pounds in weight+ it
attracts unwelcome attention from tourists, policemen, various
supernatural creatures, and can be downright dangerous during
thunderstorms.

5. Citronella candles may not be used in rituals. I cannot stress
this more...

The Story of Micro and MiniMicro was a real-time operator and dedicated multi-user. His broad-bandprotocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time-sharing. One evening he arrived home, just as the Sun was crashing and had parked hisMotorola 6800 in the main drive (he missed the 5100 bus that morning ), whenhe noticed an elegant piece of hardware escorting her daisy wheels in hisgarden. He thought to himself, "She looks user-friendly," "I'll see if she'dlike an update tonight." Mini was her name, and she was delightfull, engineered with eyes like COBOL anda Prime mainframe architecture that set Micro's peripherals networking all overthe place. He browsed over to her casually, admiring the power of her twin 32 bit floatingpoint processors and inquired "How are you Honey Well?." "Yes I am well," sheresponded, batting her optical fibres engagingly and smoothing her console overher curvilinear more...

Micro was a real-time operator and a dedicated multi-user. His broadband
protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output
devices, even if it meant time-sharing.
One evening he arrived home just as the Sun was crashing, and had parked
his Motorola 68000 in the main drive (he had missed the 5100 bus that
morning), when he noticed an elegant piece of liveware admiring the daisy
wheels in his garden. He though to himself, "She looks user-friendly.
I'll see if she'd like an update tonight."
He browsed over to her casually, admiring the power of her twin 32 bit
floating point processors, and inquired, "How are you, Honeywell?"
"Yes, I am well," she responded, batting her optical fibers engagingly and
smoothing her console over her curvilinear functions.
Micro settled for a straight line approximation. "I'm stand-alone
tonight," he said. "How about computing a vector to my more...